A federal court judge ruled today that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools is unconstitutional, saying that the pledge’s reference to “under God” violates the rights of school children to be “free from a coercive requirement to affirm God.” The suit is the second by atheist Michael Newdow, who has been trying for five years to remove the pledge from public classrooms.
You might think that I’m in favor of this action, given that I’m not especially religious, but I think it’s ridiculous. What a waste of time.
Kids are too stupid to understand what they’re saying when they recite the pledge, so they’re not going to be unduly influenced either way by the expression “Under God.” Take me, for example. For years, I thought “freedom ring” was actually pronounced “free, dumb ring.” You can imagine what my family trip to the east coast was like:
“Look Greg, this is the Liberty Bell!”
“So what? I want to see the Free, Dumb Ring.”
What’s up with atheists running around and complaining about the Pledge of Allegiance? If they have that much time on their hands, I wish they’d come over to my place to do my laundry. At the very least, they should read a story by Flannery O’Connor called Wise Blood. It’s about a man who is so vocal and emphatic about the non-existence of God that it quickly becomes apparent that he’s actually a fervent believer. These people are the equivalent of frat guys named Chad who go around calling everyone “faggot”; they’re clearly protesting too much.
But let’s look at the issue rationally. If the pledge is causing that much controversy, maybe we should just do away with it altogether. After all, Congress only formalized it in 1942 (and added the “Under God” language in 1954). That’s pretty recent. American Bandstand wasn’t on the air for much longer than that, and how many people consider that a sacred totem of our culture?
We would have to find something to replace the pledge, though, since California law requires that public elementary schools conduct “appropriate patriotic exercises” at the beginning of the school day. Allow me to make some suggestions:
Or they could just show how the original 13 Colonies first commemorated the appearance of the Free, Dumb Ring...but I’m sure no one wants a history lesson so I won’t go into all that here.
I have a secret crush on Michael Newdow. Or, now, not-so-secret crush. He’s my hero. I’d rather have him get the Pledge out of the schools than have you in clean clothes.
What the heck was that?
Anyway, Arron Burr was a weenie.
I’m going to sue to get “the flag of” eliminated from the pledge along with “and to the republic for which it stands” on account that the flag isn’t really what we pledge allegiance to. The fact that we ask the kiddies to pledge allegiance to a piece of cloth or a sticker on a car window must be confusing to them. And take out “one nation” because that’s not really true, is it? Why mislead the children? It’s tough enough figuring out what is the truth in school books and what isn’t. Take out “indivisible, and with justice for all” because that’s wishful thinking and a pipe dream. Why fill kids’ heads with bullshit like that when they should be learning important scientific theories like “intelligent design” so that they can compete with future scientists from foreign lands on equal footing.
What if we made it ”possibly under God”? That way we could keep the pledge and still satisfy those who don’t believe in God.
But you’re right. Kids aren’t listening. They don’t even know what the lyrics in all their pop music means. They can barely read an analog clock these days.
I agree. I recall it as, “I pledge blah blah flag blah blah blah BLAH. And to the republic, for which is stands (when’s lunch?) One nation, under God, and blah blah, I forgot my pencil.”
“appropriate patriotic exercises”
This explains a lot. Maybe they should stop that first, worry about God (or not-God) later.
And yes the kids won’t have a clue, except the Muslims, they always seem to know about this stuff.. the Jews? Not so much..
Recent song lyric moment of mine - Squeeze sing the line, in Cool for Cats, “invited in for coffee, and I give the dog a bone”. Wry smile from me, glazed look from nephew. Kids these days huh!
I respectfully disagree. My daughter started kindergarten Monday. Tuesday she told me that the repeated the pledge each day after the teacher. We then did it together. She asked about a couple phrases--one of which was “under god”. It then started a conversation about our beliefs and why we didn’t go to church (which is fine), but what I do not like is that she’ll see that the teachers, her school, and the entire government seem to be saying her dad is wrong.
Another point (made by Mac at Pesky’ Apostrophe.com is that the original pledge of allegiance (written by a minister no less!) did NOT have the phrase “under god” in it. That phrase was added in the 50’s. Take it out and return to the original. There was no reason to add it in the first place, and there’s no reason to have it in there now.
I gotta admit I was one of those kids that didn’t really pay attention to the words in the Pledge of Allegiance...I was usually still half asleep and wondering why we had to stand up and recite the damn thing every morning.
well, i suspect you know i would be in favor of keeping the “under god” bit, but that’s really tangential to the point of your post ... thanks for hitting the nail on its atheistic head. and about that frat boy? i laughed. out loud. and now i’m cleaning coffee off my keyboard. you’ve done it again ...
I hate to do this because I like this site a lot, but I completely disagree. When kids are forced to recite things that they don’t understand, its still a form of indoctrination. And if a parent doesn’t want their kid reciting a pledge to a god that they don’t believe in, they shouldn’t be forced to do so by the state.
And I’m assuming that you were just being over the top when you said that people who are vocal about protecting their kids from being forced to swear oaths to Santa, The Easter Bunny, or God, are protesting too much. It’s a sort of “you either agree, or you agree A LOT by saying you don’t agree” rhetoric that sounds weird coming from this site.
Plus, you know that by the way things are going it’s only a matter of time before the administration switches the unnoficial state god of the US from God to Baal. And have you ever seen a statue of Baal? I wouldn’t want any of my kids pledging to some weirdo boner god when I’m trying to teach them about the most holy Flying Spaghetti Monster.
No, thanks. And eliminating the current god from the pledge is the first step to eliminating that possibility.
How about, “One nation under Whatever Moral Superego You Have Chosen to Oversee Your Personal Concept of Honor and Loyalty”?
All I can say is, “Thank God nobody made me pledge to a God who doesn’t exist...”
Funny post Greg…
I was the guy standing in class not saying anything during the pledge...nobody ever bugged me about it. And Greggums, that blanket you gave me *did* smell kind of funny.
oh my cow! i love Wise Blood you just reminded me that i loaned that book to an ex-boyfriend and he never gave it back. he is in so much trouble.
and yeah. whatever you said or didn’t say. you lost me after that.
Bryan Adams, incite something already!!!
<Off topic, and vapid>
Let me know if you’d like to be sent an invitation to my wedding for old times sake. I don’t have any of your contact info. Or shall I just say here that you’re invited to my wedding for old times sake, and not actually bother you with bits of paper saying the exact same thing?
</off topic>
<still vapid>
I like the pledge because it gets the little heathens all standing still, facing the same direction, breathing in unison, calm, focused and signals their subconscious that all expressions of individual will will not be tolerated for the next 6 hours. I don’t give a crap what they believe about it. They can practice civil disobedience on their parents’ time.
i vote to change “under god” to “under the flying spaghetti monster”. i bet kids would start paying attention to what they were reciting then.
Oh, my. Oh, be still, my Southern heart. You referenced Flannery O’Connor. Truly, sir, I am all aflutter. You know, many of those writings are still relevant today. If you give white trash money, they’re still gonna spend it on Coca-Cola and motorcars. I oughta know.
And, NOT particularly apropos of the pledge issue, which I don’t really give a whit about....What I don’t get about atheists, I guess, is...if you believe in nothing, why do you care what other people beleive? Why not just laugh at them behind their backs (or in front of their faces, for that matter) in an intellectually superior manner? And if you’re adamant that your child also not believe in anything, then emphasize that at home, the way, say, my Jewish friends do around Christmas time, when it seems like all the world is nativity scenes and Santa Claus.
You been watching Bill O’Reilly?
“Look Greg, this is the Liberty Bell!” One of my better lines, I think. So glad you remembered it.
(I have a secret crush on Greg.)
(This post is what totally confirmed its existence.)
(Shhhhh, don’t tell him.)