I haven’t written a novel yet. My friends have given up asking me if I’m working on anything creative, but the fact is, I’m always thinking about it. Part of the problem--aside from my inherent laziness and lack of discipline--is I can’t even decide what genre to work in. Frivolous or serious? Fantasy or realism? I love them all.
As a result, brainstorming about a potential long-form creative writing project is extremely difficult. Inside my head, it generally takes the form of Young Farrah Fawcett arguing with Old Farrah Fawcett, like so:
“Ha. You know what would be cool? A teen comedy about a nerd who finds a magic letterman jacket which gives him powers and he can make girls’ clothes disappear, and stuff.”
“That is not a worthwhile project. Life is long, hard, and onerous. Write a serious fiction about a family torn apart by secrets and drama.”
“Okay okay okay. How about a crazy, madcap road trip with lots of funny dialogue, breakneck action, and nakedness? No wait--maybe it should be nudity, and not nakedness.”
“Ply your talents to achieve a pinnacle of high art. Deliver a tragic story of a friendship ravaged by the perils of time.”
“The adventures of a bunch of hot girls recruited from the police department to go on special missions...”
“...who eventually grow old and die.”
“I guess we’re not going to resolve this right now. Let’s go watch TV.”
“Sounds good. Charlie’s Angels?”
“Absolutely."
Lord, I hope Young Farrah wins. Old Farrah wants to market Oprah Book Club books. Blurgh.
i’m with young farrah too.
and heavens, what a horrifying photo.
That was TRULY horrifying. And it made me laugh. I’m so confused.
I have no idea how you found out about my book idea about the nude, tragic teenagers from the police department, but please don’t steal it. I already have most of the Letterman jacket gags written.
i think you should write a book about young farah discovering old farah, freaking out at the hoplessness of her life and thus ensuring the arrival of old farah in time. bold! dramatic! and with tits!
Dear Greg,
While I don’t mind your using my likeness to make a joke, In fact I find you very funny, I would like to clear up one point.
I never sit around watching reruns of Charlie’s Angels. I watch reruns of Chasing Farrah. After a Zanex and a fifth of Grey Goose, it’s even funnier.
XXOO - Farrah
Oh my god. I’ve just changed my position on plastic surgery.
Time has not been Farrah’s friend. Gah. I watched about 10 minutes of “Chasing Farrah” on TV once just because I was in disbelief at how different she looked. Wow.
How come Christie Brinkley still looks great? And Farrah, not so much.
My boyfriend in jr high had that poster. I am sure it spoke to him too.
perhaps old farrah can share with young farrah that she needs to avoid the hard drugs, liquor and extensive sun damage during her soul journey?
Whoa. I hate to see sex symbols age. There should be a law about putting them down after, like, 35.
Or in Farrah’s case, villagers could chase her with torches.
Well, there’s always NaNoWriMo which is coming up in November.
http://www.nanowrimo.org
*spreads the word to everyone*
at least we’re skipping the mid-career farah with the oven-cleaner-to-the-eyes and the bodypainting. charlie’s succubus.
mine eyes! mine eyes!
That’s a pretty good advertisement for sunscreen, right there.
Her looks don’t matter if her soul remains pure!
Old Farrah is scary.
Greg, to commemorate 9/11, I’ve decided to visit every single blog on my blogroll today. I appreciate the entertainment and enjoyment you provide, and I wish you peace and happiness.
LJ
LMFAO… seriously, can’t breathe. He he he
I feel so old. I idolized Farrah, while I am sure my brother wacked off to this EXACT poster that he had HANGING OVER HIS BED! Ha ha ha. I kid you not.
I am going to copy and print out a copy of the NEW Farrah for his 37th b-day?
Too Freaking Funny!
wow. the new farrah looks freakishly like a Jackson.
That young Farrah poster is up at my laundromat.
Greg, you are seriously one of the funniest, most cleverest, wittiestest people I’ve never met. Thank Flying Spaghetti Monster for your blog.