Hey! I’ll tell you some stuff that ticked me off. Because I never do that.*
1. I emailed a friend’s work address about three days ago and offered to give her a CD mix. She didn’t reply. I was vaguely annoyed, but then she called me and invited me to a party. I said, “Do you want that CD mix?” She said, “What CD mix?” It turns out that she had just been laid off from her job and never received my message.
Is it completely unreasonable to put an out-of-office response on an ex-employee’s inbox? Or at least kill the box completely so emails bounce back and people get a clue that something might be wrong? I’m not saying that this has to be politically correct or anything. I’ll settle for an animated image of a laughing skull & crossbones, with a computerized voice that cackles “YOUR FRIEND HAS BEEN TERMINATED.”
2. This weekend, at a place where there was red wine and dancing, everyone suddenly upped and started doing choreographed steps. For a moment I thought I was having my recurring nightmare where I’m trapped in a Rogers & Hammerstein musical, but then my friend said it was a dance that everyone knew, “The Electric Slide.” She said, “Didn?t you go to high school dances?”
Well, yeah, but all we did was hop up and down with our white man’s overbite and try to convince girls that this was the right way to move to “The Reflex.” No one ever bothered me to teach me any kind of choreographed dance. How did everyone else get to be six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon in Footloose?
*Lest you think this is just another ranty post, I’ll point out that there were upsides to each of these incidents: I got invited to a party, and I got to dance and drink wine. Which makes it a good weekend. Much better than that one weekend that one time when I went here and I went there and then I got back home and realized my fly had been down the entire time.
I never heard of the Electric Slide until I went to a company party and saw all the people I hate doing it.
Not only that, but there’s something called the “Chicken Dance,” that evidently people do at weddings a lot, except if you are from my family, We Do Not Dance At Weddings, Nor Partake of the Vine, Nor Sing Nor Make Jokes Nor Do Anything That Might Be Construed As Fun, and therefore I had never seen the Chicken Dance until the same night I saw the Electric Slide.
Both dances look like a buncha honkies trying not to move their hips to me.
Over the summer, one of my coworkers quit. Before he left, he set his out-of-office response to read, “I am currently out of the office forever.” Bitter, much?
No electric slide for me. I’m waiting for a chance to dance the Atomic Flume - a dance that will end any party in an orgy of spilled drinks, spent fuelrods, and accidentially exposed undergarments. If my incompetence will be on public display, I expect a lot of other good stuff to be on display right along with it.
that IS the only way to dance to “the reflex.” haven’t you seen the video?
ps on the subject of lowered flies remind me sometime to tell you about the last class i taught in franch, or should that be The Last Class I Taught In France. which is also The Reason I Can’t Ask That Employer For A Recommendation.
You didn’t pull a Tara Reid, did you?
My HR person keeps sending all-employee emails with subject headings of “staff tranisions.” It always means someone left because something really sucky happened.
As for the slide—it’s really easy. You can do the steps precisely or just bop in the proper directions—the steps go first to the right, then left, fake forward, turn, change direction, repeat. kind of like the hustle only more played out if you can believe it. You’re right; it’s not the kind of thing you’d learn at Ukiah High.
I will *so* be jamming to The Reflex in March. That’s right, I’m going to see Duran Duran in concert and I’m not ashamed to admit it!
You guuuyyysss… the “hop up and down” dance is to be done to the song Dr. Worm by They Might Be Giants. The Reflex dance is the one that looks like you are on a Nordic Trak but you snap your fingers as you alternate your swinging arms and bent knees. Like Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club. Also, when you go see Duran Duran, you should have lace gloves, and you should cry and stare lustily at John Taylor. This goes for you too, Greg.
We all learned the dance from Thriller for our Prom. Last year. It was awesome. Before and after that, though, there was much of the hopping and of me thanking goodness that this was the last I would have to see these people.
FYI-There’s a new version of this type of dance called the “Cha-cha Slide” and it has many more verbal instructions. I recommend it.
Oh my gosh! You were at that party!?! I wondered what the hell they were doing, too!