My roommate’s cat and I treat each other with suspicion.

I’m suspicious of him because I know that if I ever shrink to ten inches, he’ll eat me like a chocolate malt ball. Sometimes this occurs to me when I’m petting him. He’s purring, I’m relaxed, and suddenly it hits me--"The status quo won’t necessarily last forever.”

For his part, he’s suspicious because I keep trying to get him to help out with the housework. Fair’s fair, right? He doesn’t pay rent. So I shove the vacuum cleaner at him, and he runs into the other room. Which technically ends the discussion, although I know he’s laughing to himself: “I’ve got him fooled; he really thinks I don’t know how to operate that thing.”