Breathe easier.

This weekend I was trying to help my friend have a memorable birthday party while staying relatively sober because I had to drive home later.

At one point someone started passing around a breath analyzer. It was small and plastic.  It looked like it came out of a crackerjack box.

A reading of .08 meant sober.  I had had two beers and a shot, so I wasn’t sure where I’d end up.

My breath was .03.

My friend’s breath was .12.

Mission accomplished.

I think it is definitely mission accomplished...what must your friend have had to drink, though?!

Posted by Mary  on  04/11  at  04:04 AM

There is a point (8th? 12th drink? depends on the lush) when “having a grand time” and “memorable” become mutually exclusive terms.

Posted by memer  on  04/11  at  04:18 AM

sounds like my weekend…

Posted by cCrF  on  04/11  at  06:02 AM

Sooo… does that mean your friend had roughly 8 beers and four shots?

Or maybe it was your friend’s 8th birthday.

Posted by  on  04/11  at  06:56 AM

It’s a good thing you didn’t get pulled over, because “but the little plastic cracker jack thingy at the party said I was fine!” probably wouldn’t work.

Posted by EV  on  04/11  at  07:41 AM

see, i’m the kind of person that woulda said, “.03? is that all? well damn. i can have another three drinks before we go and STILL only be at .06!”

Posted by Jules  on  04/11  at  08:11 PM

It’s 1 drink per hour.  I’m guessing the party lasted 3+ hours?

Posted by  on  04/12  at  04:03 AM

Real men drink until there are digits to the LEFT of the decimal.
grin
Then call a cab to take them to a hospital.
--LAZ

Posted by  on  04/12  at  04:23 AM

wow, nice to know you drink and drive!

Posted by unimpressed  on  04/12  at  04:42 AM

isn’t there a difference between someone who drinks and drives and someone who DRANK, then drove.  the time lapse between “the drink” and “the drive” allows one to gain clarity enough to know their limitations. 

i hate moralistic “holier-than-though” people who tisk at everything.  THEY are the ones corrupting society.  statistics show that people who drive after a few drinks are only as impaired as most people are during their tired morning commutes.  drink up, Greg!  .03, i’m impressed.

Posted by unimpressed HATER  on  04/12  at  07:26 AM

I actually didn’t get behind the wheel until four hours after the breath incident in question, but everyone’s entitled to their opinion.

Posted by Greg  on  04/12  at  07:30 AM

I’m looking for the little tube you blow into that reads your breath and tells you how much of an ass you’re making of yourself.  “oh, I blew a 1.4.  I’d better stop telling that joke I read in the bathroom, and put the pictures back on the walls.”

Posted by dan  on  04/12  at  08:29 AM

I’ve heard a rule of thumb is to add one to the number of hours you’ve been drinking, and that’s how many drinks you can have and still be under the legal limit. So if you’re drinking for 4 hours, you can have 5 drinks. If you’re drinking for 1 hour, you can have 2. I don’t know how much truth there is to that.

Posted by Eric  on  04/12  at  11:44 AM

i just got a serious fit of giggles. i’m pretty sure bars would look funny without parking lots. och. the things i could say if i could only stop giggling uncontrollably.

and everyone should be entitled to my opinion. but i’m sure they’d be “unimpressed.”

Posted by Kimberley  on  04/12  at  07:56 PM

I’m gonna have to break the mould here, and write something reasonably sensible.

Recently in work, the company did a number of “Alcohol and Drugs awareness” meetings, which everyone had to attend.  I argued that I already knew all about drugs and alcohol, but it was fruitless, and I had to go anyway.

Well apparently (according to company propaganda) it takes 1.5 hours to work off every unit of alcohol you drink, and 2 hours if you’re female.  I guess this excludes giant monsters of women, unless beer has been genetically engineered to affect women more.  I think this must be the reason. Yes.

Well, also apparently, the alcohol takes about 30 minutes to enter your system, so you should add another half an hour when you add up how long it will be before your system runs dry of alcohol (and you have to put more in).

Did you factor this 30 minutes?  Or did you down all your drinks at the same time from one giant glass and then take the test?

Of course, it could just be that the machine was cheap and nasty...!

Posted by Ryan  on  04/17  at  04:56 AM

Oops. wrong web page. 

*corrected!*

Posted by Ryan  on  04/17  at  04:57 AM