Bits.

  • Last night we went to one of those Japanese steakhouses where the chef cooks the food right at your place and makes miniature little volcanoes out of onions and oil and throws bits of food for people to catch in their mouths.  He asked me, “How do you like your steak?” And I said “Medium” and someone else said “Well done.” And the theatrics were fun, but by the time we got our food it was clear that asking how we liked it was just a formality; the steak was all cooked the same.  I figure he just needs the ego boost when someone says “Well done.” So to you, good chef, well done!  Well done indeed!  Except on the whole cooking the steak to the way we want it thing.

  • I have been thinking all week about a hike I took with my friend Wendy at Pt. Reyes, where we kept seeing elk with gigantic antlers--and each of them were surrounded by a bunch of female elk.  Like a bunch of roaming elk harems. Sensitivity?  Sense of humor? Even income?  Balderdash.  Listen to me: Chicks dig the antlers.

  • I almost lost my job in January because I was so wrapped up in listening to Franz Ferdinand that I could barely talk, listen, or do any work.  I figure I was free of them--because how many sophomore albums are worth a damn?  But I just heard the glorious single “Do You Want To” from their upcoming CD You Could Have It So Much Better with Franz Ferdinand.  And I’m screwed.  No one stitches together narcotic guitar riffs like these guys.  I expect to soon be on the street, unemployed and homeless, my right hand outstretched for change while my left hand clutching my sole remaining possession, a Franz Ferdinand-stuffed Ipod.

  • It’s been 24 hours and I still don’t feel guilty that someone said “Katrina was the worst disaster this country’s ever seen” and I said “If you don’t count Baywatch Nights.”

    greg, if you let it cramp your wit, than the hurricane has already won.

    Posted by Sacha  on  09/16  at  09:04 AM

    I am willing to bet that FEMA-guy had something to do with Baywatch Nights.

    Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  09/16  at  09:52 AM

    Antlers.

    You amuse me.

    Posted by peefer  on  09/16  at  10:16 AM

    that baywatch nights bit is the funniest thing i’ve heard in WEEKS.  thanks.  smile

    Posted by romy  on  09/16  at  11:21 AM

    first, not all the horny guys get loads of hot wild does - did you see these guys hunkered down at the ridgeline?  Chicks might dig antlers, but I think the ones with all the girlfriends were wearing Axe for Ruminants.

    also, I never realized you were such a daredevil.  skydive, bungee jump, and watch unlimited GGirls repeats as you may, dining at a killer restaurant is more of a risk than I’m willing to take.  glad you are still around to report on it.

    Posted by dan  on  09/16  at  11:31 AM

    Culinary artists aren’t without a flair for irony, that a steak charred so thoroughly as to remove any pretense of flavor should be regarded as “well done.”

    Posted by Derek  on  09/16  at  11:46 AM

    Dude, I would so marry Franz Ferdinand ...if I were into that kind of thing.

    Posted by Meredith  on  09/16  at  11:54 AM

    yeah,i live in south louisiana, and um..no..

    Posted by  on  09/16  at  12:11 PM

    ooookay. so what was it you said about the antlers again? gigantic, were they? right…

    Posted by jaden  on  09/16  at  01:20 PM

    Girls who say antler size doesn’t matter are liars.

    Posted by Pants  on  09/16  at  01:24 PM

    Baywatch Nights or no, the Germans love David Hasselhoff.  Not sure of their opinion on antlers.  Pretty sure they’re not fond of Franz Ferdinand, through no fault of their or his own.

    Posted by  on  09/16  at  05:16 PM

    i wish i could say i didn’t feel guilty after humming ‘Walking on Sunshine’ while IMing a hurricane victim.

    that would be ‘Walking on Sunshine’ by Katrina and the Waves.

    Posted by brando  on  09/17  at  01:14 AM

    yeah, the Baywatch Nights bit was pretty funny.

    Posted by anna  on  09/17  at  08:02 AM

    Super funny.

    Posted by kathy  on  09/17  at  09:55 AM

    when katrina first hit and we didn’t know how bad it would be, i was “walking on sunshine"ing it all over the place. so it’s cool.

    Posted by EV  on  09/18  at  09:08 AM

    Okay worst thing I said “What about the girls from “Girls Gone Wild Videos” ? You have a whole class of workers that have just lost their way of life. I’m sure this was the only thing they knew, who is looking out for them ? Then there was some shit comparing them to the American family farmer. I emailed a friend, and she said, don’t blog this. So I’m not.

    Posted by Lisa V  on  09/18  at  08:54 PM