I have been feeling blah lately. Things haven’t felt right. My days have been feeling stale. So I thought I’d look at some great works of literature to see what famous characters have done who felt the same way.
But that plan only lasted until I looked at Ishmael from Moby Dick:
“Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet . . then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.”
I quickly realized that following the example of literary characters is a really dumb idea. Here’s a guy who stalks corpses and apparently has some serious canker sores, and then he decides to jump aboard a boat that chases a large, white allegory? I decided that I’d be better off not taking a page from Ishmael, Interrupted.
Same with Dick Diver from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Tender is the Night. Bad things happened to him, such as--well, actually, who cares what happened to him? His name is Dick Diver. I’m not saying my own name is all that great, but I don’t need to be a walking ad for prescription pharmaceuticals, either.
And then there’s Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. He came up with a great cure for wrinkles that totally beats Oil of Olay and botox treatments. But he had to hang a really tacky painting in his living room.
Hamlet had the hots for his mother and he killed himself and never bothered to give his girlfriend swimming lessons. Yeah, I really need to see what he has to say about life, the universe, and everything.
Literary characters are useless. So I’m taking matters in my own hands. I’m off to New Zealand. See you in a few weeks.*
*If you’d like to understand the meaning behind the title of this post, you need to know that my mother always wrote ‘Backson’ on the notes she left on the kitchen counter to tell us that she had gone into town and would return later. And if you want to know why she did such an eccentric thing, you can read this.**
**Okay, bye.
Ha, I got the backson reference, which I thought made me cool, but then I remembered a conversation in which I was told that a 30 year old man who gets obscure Winnie-the-Pooh references is not “cool.” I think the word they used was “creepy.” Whatever, I still think it’s cool, and now I’m going to write the same thing on my kids’ notes, should they ever deign to be born. In the mean time, have a good trip. And, even though you mock Ishmael, you are heading off over the oceans, just maybe without all the whale hunting. I look forward to a new post In Which Greg Visits the Other Side of the World and Writes Funny Things About It.
Have a good time
I agree with you, it is cool.
I haven’t graduated to Pooh references yet; I’m still stuck on Richard Scarry.
Oh yeah, have fun and wear velcro boots.
I just don’t get all the excitement. What was wrong with the Old Zealand? Have fun, drink hearty and let us know if it’s true what they say about the drains and such.
Yes, a trip to New Zealand is the total cure all for the blahs. I am jealous of you, but wish you a good trip. They were having a warm spell, but it is back to being a bit chilly.
you know, a blog break is a blog break is a blog break. dress it up pretty if you like but there’s no denying it.
but on the off chance you really are headed to new zealand ... have fun and all that. and oh yeah, bring me back something.
when i was in new zealand, i got a box of chocolates that had kiwi fruit gooey centres. they were good. i also got a small local version of what can only be considered aboriginal barbie, which was something less than good. i also also got a stuffed platypus, which was very good. so good in fact that my cat at the time, and every cat since who comes across it, tries to befriend and then maul and then eat it, and ends up taking a nap curled around it protectively.
i don’t know if you’re really off to new zealand or not, but i highly recommend the kiwi-fruit chocolates. and don’t forget the platypus.
have a blast.
doctor howard, please do enjoy your trip to the other side of the world. we shall miss you while you are gone.
i don’t think i have ever read that Pooh excerpt before. thanks! now i can leave an obscure note on my terminal this week while i am away. much better than my standard “O.O.O.” notes.
When I read,
“ i also also got a stuffed platypus, which was very good.”
I thought you meant you ATE a stuffed platypus. I didn’t know they were edible and was simultaneously disgusted and intrigued.
Oh, and have a lovely trip, Greg.
Is Papa Goose gonna make any guest posts?
Have a wonderful time!
No Papa Goose posts this time around. We’ll just have to wait until he returns, with either Hobbit or Maori wife in tow.
Welcome to New Zealand!
I don’t know what you look like so will be unable to know if I see you on the street but it’s nice to know you’ll be around.
Also it IS very cold but that means the ski season has been extended.
If you like skiing.
I understand some people do.
Bring us back a sheep, hey?
While I read Great Gatsby in high school, but I never read Tender is the Night. Since I started reading your blog a few weeks but have never replied. But, you have given me a new self-imposed nickname-Dick Diver.
I will say Di-ver with a long I sound-that’s an awesome name and my boyfriend will love it. Call me “Dick Diver.”
Winnie-the-Pooh references are the best ones there are. Your mom rocks.
Oh and lucky one getting to go to New Zealand. Say hello to “Middle Earth” for us.