The problem with seeing a popular exhibit on its near-to-last day is that you’ll be engulfed in waves of human flesh while you’re trying to feed your spiritual side. You inch along, craning past the rows of humanity, trying to catch a glimpse of the artistry on display. And every once in a while you do. But for the most part, you have to find the art where you can--which, generally, means right in front of you.
Formalism—Some dweeb is wearing a suit and tie.
Futurism - A bored husband keeps checking his watch and willing the hands to move faster.
Expressionism—Some old lady keeps scrunching up her face while she peers up at the paintings.
Cubism—Some blockhead is talking on his cell phone.
Then there’s the neck that’s right in front of you, which appears to be blotchy from overexposure to the sun; this individual has clearly begun her “red movement.” And now she’s gone, replaced by the broad shoulders of a man who is starting his own, hitherto unnamed school of art, which apparently centers around large quantities of dandruff.
On the positive side, when the surrounding text describes the primary artist as a “colourist,” this makes sounding smart much easier. The jargon of art criticism usually gives me a headache, but who can screw up the use of a term like “colourist”? You swing your hand at a large painting, and expound to your friend:
“Now, you’ll note the use of blue in this painting. And why do you think there is such a use of color?”
“Because Marc Chagall was a ‘colourist.’”
“Exactly! Now, note this painting over here. Why the heavy use of green?”
“Because he was a greenist.”
“Don’t be flip.”
Oh for the day I may be described as “Gregist”
you are too cute, too funny.
just so you know.
The ones who really got to me were the hordes with earphones, shuffling in a mass from specific canvas to specific canvas, crowded around the pieces with audio commentary and ignoring most everything else. I was thinking it would be fun to film them in stop action and present their flocking gawking as performance art: “Marking Chagall.”
In spite of them, I still thought it was a great exhibit.
A true cubist would be talking in a low voice, so the cubists in the next cube don’t overhear. Unless they have that white-noise thinger. Then, they can cube all they want.
Talk about life imitating art, yes?
Dan, I thought of your post while I was at the show. I wish I was less tired and there were 95% less people there, but it was still good. What I liked is that I hated a lot of his stuff and loved a lot of his stuff. He had diverse styles.
A greenist. That would be The Hulk or Ralph Nader or David Brower, take your pick.
Greg, you’re so right. That stuff from the 60s and 70s with the jugglers and clowns and MIMES for god’s sake - if it hadn’t been hanging in a museum I’d have thought it had been painted for a motel. A cheap one.
tsk tsk. an art show and there was no “snobbist” sighting?
what is the world coming to?!
Have you seen the Mona Lisa? My recollection of it is not of the painting itself, but of the five hundred Japanese tourists standing in front of it taking pictures.
What the fuck, man? It’s not even impressive if you ask me.
There is a Chagall exhibit here. I like most of his work.
Hmmm...so much for that Art History degree.
I don’t know anything about anything except that Mondrian was a putz.
i think you forgot the “naked tropicist” category ... oh wait, never mind, that was for the gauguin exhibit.
i like chagall ...
... you know he did the vitraux (stained-glass cathedral windows) for notre-dame de chartres? i think that’s cool.
since when did everyone get all trendy and get domain names? and imo, mona lisa is ugly. that makes me a monalisauglyist.
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