AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY WOMAN: Okay, we’ll schedule a pick up and collect your car. You’ll be notified in advance.  Thanks for your donation.

ME: No problem.  Thanks.

(She calls back later)

ACS WOMAN: The towing people left me a message that they’re coming by your place this afternoon.

ME: What? No one told me that.  I’m at work...I can’t meet them and give them the keys.

ACS WOMAN: What? Okay, I’ll call them and tell them that.

(Someone calls me later)

TOW GUY: Hi, I’m the towing guy, here to collect your car for the American Cancer Society. I’ll be at your place in ten minutes.

ME: You were supposed to be called by ACS Woman.  No one told me you were coming by. I’m at work. I can’t meet you.

TOW GUY: Oh. How about Monday, then?

ME: I can’t...I’m flying out of town for a week.

TOW GUY: Oh.

(ACS Woman calls me later)

ACS WOMAN: They can pick it up on Monday.

ME: I can’t, I’ll be out of town. Tell you what...can I leave the keys in the car’s exhaust pipe, like in an envelope or something?

ACS WOMAN: That could work. I’ll call the towing people and tell them that.

ME: Okay, but can you please make sure they pick it up on Monday?  I live in Oakland...leaving the keys anywhere within ten miles of a car is not a good idea.

ACS WOMAN: Okay.

(I call ACS Woman the middle of the following week)

ME: Did they pick up the car yet?

ACS WOMAN: Not yet. I’ll call them.

ME: You know what?

ACS WOMAN: What?

ME: I think I’ve realized why we haven’t cured cancer yet.