Really, I’m sorry about this post. I usually don’t do reviews of stuff because not everyone has read/seen the material in question. But I sent off several emails to friends about the new Harry Potter book, and my thirst for ranting isn’t satisfied.
Therefore, the below text is in “invisible mode.” You have to swipe it with your cursor in order to see it. I am ranting about the new book and I am revealing a key plot point that occurs near the end. Go no further if you are reading or have plans to read the book; it will spoil some of it for you. Go read my links or something. I’m happy to say that all of them have been particularly genial and vivacious as of late.
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After five books, this latest one being particularly lengthy, Dumbledore decides to reveal a huge secret to Harry. Apparently, a prophecy has forseen that Harry and Voldemort cannot survive in the same world together; eventually they will battle to the death and one of them will die.
Oh really?
And here I thought the next book would be called Harry Potter and the Friendly Tea Party with his Most Hated Enemy.
Or Harry Potter Goes Tip-Toeing through the Daisies with a Vicious Killer.
I half-expected Harry to sit bolt upright in bed and say “Boy, you really put the ‘Dumb’ in ‘Dumbledore.’ So you think I’ll be, like, fighting Voldemort or something? To the death? Did you have to cast a spell to gain such keen powers of insight, or does it all just come naturally to you?”
Here’s a newsflash, Rowling: we all figured this “secret” out from the first fifty pages of the first book. Hey, why stop with your own material? Why not reveal secrets about other stories? Such as: Hamlet is a little confused! Oliver Twist doesn’t eat too much! Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan make annoying movies!
Moral: Hungry poor authors write good stuff. Full, happy authors with $700 million in the bank write crap.
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And that’s my explanation of why Hermione is a cross-dresser.
Posted by Greg at 03:06 AM on 06/26/03