Sales department: We think marketing should only focus on activities that bring in leads immediately.

Me: But we should also do branding exercises designed to promote our company’s identity.  Some time in the future that might bring in leads too.

Sales department: (Spits on me)
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I.T. department: It looks like a problem with the mySQL database.

Me: Shouldn’t you have made sure it was a viable franchise before doing a sequel?

I.T. department: (Spits on me)
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Finance department: Hooray!  We’re done with the 2003 numbers.

Me: Here’s a late invoice from our 2003 search engine optimization project.

Finance department: (Spits on me)
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All departments: We have highly specialized skills that help us carry the company forward.  What do you do?

Me: We hire vendors to do all our work for us.  And sometimes we sit around and think of stuff that’s cool and then we send out a press release about it.

Everyone: (Spits on me)
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Still, at the end of the day, I get to go home with T-shirts that have our company logo.