Roommate: I think I’m sick.

Me: That’s too bad. You know, it’s probably common for teachers to get sick in the first month of school. All those kids and all those germs.

Roommate: It’s common for new teachers like me. The experienced ones don’t get sick.

Me: Really?

Roommate: Yeah. All the teachers who have been teaching for 10+ years do just fine.

Me: Teachers must be able to develop a more powerful immune system than the average person. Do you realize what this means for national security?

Roommate: Huh?

Me: Experienced teachers would be untouched by nerve gas, airborne germs, and other biological weapons! They could be trained to become an elite fighting unit! They could be the vanguards of American justice on the front lines of the war against Iraq!

Roommate: I think I’m going to go take a nap.