How do I know that America will eventually lose its status as the world’s preeminent superpower? Easy. We’re bland and fearful, and our Twinkies prove it.

Here’s what I mean. When I was a child, Hostess had a product called a “Chocodile.” This was nothing more than a chocolate-covered Twinkie, but it had its own distinct brand identity. The mascot was a talking crocodile, and the tag line was “It takes a while to eat a Chocodile.”

The Chocodile is extinct today. In essence, Americans couldn’t deal with the additional complexity that the Chocodile represented. It posed too much of a challenge to their delicate palettes. They reacted with dismay: “Sponge cake, yes. Creamed filling, by all means. Chocolate on top? Whoa, slow that horse down, hoss!”

As far as augurs of receding world influence go, it may not be as dramatic as India’s 1857 mutiny against the British colonists. But it’s up there.