The girls in your country are niiiiiiiice and easy.

Man who speaks with forked tongue, needs no silverware at dinner table.

You’re all kind of a poor man’s Australia, aren’t you?

If I don’t stop saying “No worries” instead of “No problem” or “You bet” in about a month, I’m coming back to tear this place apart.

For God’s sake, you’ve got a good thing going here.  Keep Shania Twain the @*&*@ out.*

*Shania Twain is paying $21 million to buy a sizable chunk of vacation land in New Zealand’s south island.  The transaction has created a huge controversy over the government allowing foreigners to buy up prime real estate.  They want the money, but some factions wonder if this is ultimately good for the country. Let me help settle this debate: It isn’t.  Selling crack on street corners would be a better way to boost the economy than parceling out beautiful landscapes to talentless rock stars.  I mean, couldn’t they have at least sold it to someone cool like Peter Gabriel?  I’d totally give him my spare bedroom.  I’d be all, “How’s it going?” and he’d be all “I just finished unpacking.  Mind if we chill out and listen to some world music?” and I’d be all “No worries, mate” “No problem, dude.”