Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home.
Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home.
I’ve been to London and I’ve been to Rome
But I never thought there’d be a plumber in my home.

It’s sort of grown up is what I think
It’s sort of grown up is what I think
Instead of buying CDs and drinks
I’m making sure that everything’s in sink.

(ukelele solo)

He’s a Chinese plumber named Ping
He’s a Chinese plumber named Ping
“Last time, no was professional job, I thing”
Is what he says as he surveys everything.

I won’t call my bank to get a loan floated
No, I won’t call my bank to get a loan floated
Even though pipes large and small are bloated
Ping’s not charging more than what he quoted.

Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home
Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home…

But my sink will no longer be acting hyper
So I won’t mind having to pay the piper.

(Repeat first verse until fade out or until singers fall down drunk)