My co-worker had a box of See’s candy on her desk, and no one was around, so I snatched one. I ended up with the chocolate equivalent of a landmine: ugly, evil, coconut.

Let me get this straight. The Rwanda massacres happens and that’s just fine; the Middle East is in turmoil and the world keeps spinning. But I have one little moral lapse and suddenly the universe is all, “You see that? You see that? Unleash the karmic hounds!”