Despite the post below regarding singing to the car stereo, I believe a little self-consciousness and embarrassment is good for society.  Take that annoying maxim which is now a staple of email signature files and workplace posters everywhere:

Work like you don’t need the money
Dance like no one’s watching
Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Let’s take those in order.  If I actually worked like I didn’t need the money, I wouldn’t be doing a damn thing.  I’d stare out the window, surf the Internet, and throw spitwads at people.

Hmm.  Come to think of it, that’s not the best example.

Okay, but take the next one.  “Dance like no one’s watching.” I actually do this at home--when no one is watching.  Patrons in public establishments don’t need to see my white man’s overbite or my tendency to scratch myself.

And if I loved like I’ve never been hurt, that means I’m fifteen years old again.  No thanks. I kissed like a broken lawn sprinkler, I couldn’t undo a girl’s bra without the help of garden shears, and I couldn’t find pleasure centers without the help of a private detective.

A lack of self-awareness is the root of many social ills. It leads to people jogging in spandex shorts who really shouldn’t; it leads to the balding combover; it leads to people annoucing a major point by clearing their throat and intoning “Irregardless...” It leads to reality television, for heaven’s sake.

I urge you all to carpe your diems only to a point and stop before it gets annoying.  If there’s any ambiguity about where to draw the line, just ask me.  “Geese Aplenty” is here to help you be just a little more repressed.