Do you ever stop and consider that you might suffer from a mental disorder in which you believe that you’re completely clothed, but in fact you’re naked?  When you dress in the morning, you’re just clutching at air.  You leave the house and you think you’re wearing whatever outfit is appropriate for what you need to do that day, but you’re actually brandishing your bait and tackle at the world.

It became clear early on that you suffered from this condition, so everything was prepped for you in advance.  Your parents told your neighbors, and your schools, and every place you ever worked.  Every person you’ve ever known has pretended to interact with you as though you’re a normal member of society, even though you’ve always been flaunting your junk like a Tijuana stripper.

Naturally you’ve become a celebrity.  Even though the world’s initial fascination with you wore off years ago, you’re still very well known.  Documentaries analyze you, and web sites monitor your progress through life.  Behind the scenes of your everyday existence are videocameras and paparazzi. You’re like an R-rated, full-frontal version of the Truman Show.

Sometimes you’re struck with anxiety dreams where you show up to work or a social function without clothes on.  But those aren’t anxiety dreams. That’s your subconscious trying to batter you into sanity, letting you know what’s really going on beneath the warm, comforting folds of your mental delusion.

Well anyway, have a nice day at work!