What really worries me about Michael Jackson’s death is that his biggest asset--the rights to the Lennon/McCartney catalog--will now be auctioned off to pay for Jackson’s pile of debt.

People my age will remember what a big deal this was back in the ‘80s, when McCartney and Jackson were bitter bidders and rivals as they fought to obtain the rights.  Now, this proved to be a gift to the world of music, as it meant that they would never again team up to sing a song like “The Girl is Mine.” Nonetheless, it was pretty fierce at the time. Jackson ended up winning the rights by paying roughly $47 million.

It turns out that when you buy the rights to songs, they don’t depreciate as soon as you drive them off the lot.  Those Beatles songs are now worth hundreds of millions.

Actually, wait, that’s not true. I bought the rights to the collected work of Kid Rock for a few hundred bucks, and I completely lost that investment. So I guess it depends on whose songs you buy.  Evidently, Beatles songs hold up pretty well. (Except for “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” Does anyone really need to hear that one again?)

So here’s my worry: obviously, McCartney will cackle to himself and say “Ha!  I outlived the jerk. Now I can buy my songs back.” Except, really, what’s Paul worth? Maybe $500 million?  We’re talking the rights to the Beatles songs.  The richest people in the world are going to be all over this, particularly after they saw how Jackson netted hundreds of millions in royalties year after year as a result of his purchase.  My opinion is, the rights to these songs will be bought by some oil baron from the Middle East.

So what, you say? Well, if they have the rights, won’t they have the ability to change the songs a bit to suit their own point of view?

Say goodbye to the classics you know, and say hello to:

Back in the United Arab Emirates
Baby You Can Drive My Camel
Oil Fields Forever
The Hippy Hippy Sheik
The Fool on the Sand Dune
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds that I Got from my Personal South African Mine

Like everyone else, I’m pulling out my Jackson music and listening to it. But I’ll tell you what, I’m also pulling out my Beatles songs while I have a chance. Because it just won’t be the same when I’m hearing how that guy has a steady job but really wants to be a Fatwa Writer.