Have you ever been to the house of a young couple and note that they have a mostly empty room? There may be a few bookcases tilting unsteadily inside of it, but otherwise it’s vacant.

It’s like the opposite of that room in Poltergeist where all the stuff is spinning around, like flapping books and screeching record players. Instead it’s a void wrapped tightly inside of a cone of silence.  All of the rest of the furniture in the house almost seems to lean away from it, exhibiting a combination of respect and fear.

It’s a sign that the couple will soon be procreating.  You can verify your observation by checking out the rest of the furniture in the house: lots of hand-me-downs and hardly anything new. Clearly they’re conserving money.  And your final clue is in the little looks they cast each other across the dinner table, looks which are not simply “I love you” and “You are my pumpkin pie,” but rather “I really hope you’re not sterile” and “Don’t sit that way; you might hurt your eggs.”