1. For the second time in a week, someone sent a 30-page document to the printer and then forgot about it, so when I printed my own two-page document I had to go and fill up the printer with paper, wait for the first job to finish, and then get my own document.  Hello, are you a complete moron?  Do you stuff your face with rubber cement on a regular basis?  Do you visit old buildings and inhale as much asbestos as possible?  Your parents despise you.  You are vermin.  Cats and dogs hate you in equal measure.

2. Graphic on CNN Headline News: “Viewers Decide: Should Iraq Choose It’s Own Government?” Why, this is “headline news” to me.  I had no idea that the rules of grammar had suddenly changed and now it’s acceptable to use an apostrophe in the word “its” to indicate a possessive.  How refreshing to receive my “headline news” from a pack of incompetent, illiterate troglodytes.  Would you care to play in traffic?  May I interest you in a rousing game of Russian Roulette using fully loaded pistols?  You are vomitous.

3. Car in front of me slows down to a crawl and then, finally, gradually, makes a left-hand turn.  Of course!  Because the turn signal is more of a “suggestion” than a “rule.” Especially when you’re too brain-dead to do two things at once, i.e. maneuver the steering wheel and then operate the complex machinery that powers the turning signal equipment.  Have silverfish eaten out your medulla oblongata?  Have you snacked on an exhaust pipe full of carbon monoxide?  You are a cretinous mass of protoplasm.  You are a gibbering nitwit.  You are Rick Santorum.

Other than that I had a pretty good day.