Lounging around in sweatpants is so comfy that I never want to go running in them and get them all sweaty.  Which is odd, seeing as they’re sweatpants and all.

Therefore, I’m officially changing the name of the garment.  They are now called “slothpants.” I think this makes more sense.

If you refer to them as “sweatpants” in my presence, thus reminding me that I don’t actually have the power to rename a word in the English language, we are totally done with one another.  I mean it; you can’t come over to my house or anything.