My friends and family may be surprised to see this headline.  They know I don’t follow sports, so why would I be watching the Superbowl?  In point of fact, though, it’s a liability in the corporate world to not know your way around a football season.  Sports is an automatic touchstone between people, and I’m limited because I can’t take advantage of it.

I do have the advantage of being able to discuss movies with other people, which is another important point of reference between strangers.  But I become a little too enthusiastic about them.  So, I might be in a meeting with some colleagues and a potential strategic partner:

Partner: “You know, I really like that scene at the end of ‘The Matrix’ where Neo faces off with that evil agent guy.”

Me: “Yeah, I love how that piece of newspaper blows by like a tumbleweed.  It’s a nod to the old spaghetti westerns.”

A pause.  Everyone consider this, and looks interested.  “Hmm, never thought of that.” “Interesting.” “Okay then.”

Me: “I think the best old western was ‘The Magnificent Seven.’

Everyone shrugs.

Me: “Of course, that’s a remake of Kurosawa’s ‘The Seven Samurai.’ By the way, don’t you feel as though that you’ve had enough of ‘Rashomon’ imitators?  I mean, it’s enough to make me go watch a festival of Dogma ‘95 films shot on digital video with handheld cameras.”

At this point, someone hits a red button and I’m sent hurtling into a shark tank.  You can clearly see that I need to branch out.  Therefore, I’m watching the Superbowl--and without further ado, here’s my diary of the experience.

2:05 pm.  A bunch of guys in helmets are hitting each other.
2:10 pm.  Bored beyond belief.  But suddenly excited because I remember they’re going to air a commercial for the Hulk movie, which will show the complete computer-generated monster.
2:15 pm. No Hulk commercial yet.
2:20 pm. Still a bunch of guys in helmets hitting each other.
2:22 pm. Suddenly realize that I’m living in Oakland.  Whether the Raiders win or lose, the city will become like Mad Max’s Thunderdome by nightfall.
2:23 pm. Leave house to go to Home Depot and buy materials to build Panic Room.

End of Superbowl diary.