When did half of my vacation budget go into buying souvenirs? I had a list so long that I don’t even think I know that many people.  I think I just wanted to be handing out “Je T’aime Paris” shirts to anyone that wanted one, especially people who asked me for spare change on the street.

I was determined not to get a bunch of junky, touristy gifts this time.  Paris is a noble city with a long, grand history.  Surely a souvenir from Paris merits a little more thought, requiring the purchase of something old, cultured, and sophisticated.

Yeah, but instead I wound up with a bunch of miniature glass Eiffel Towers filled with cognac.

Do you realize that the Eiffel Tower was only built in 1889?  Given that much of the city boasts monuments from centuries ago, the Eiffel Tower is basically the architectural equivalent of Miley Cyrus.

Naturally, I went a little more high end for my boss.  I bought a small bottle of champagne from the Epernay region of France.  And, like most of my work-related projects, it fell apart--exploding in my suitcase on the way home.  I considered airing out and washing all my champagne-drenched clothes, but now I’m thinking that I’ll just wear them: I’ve always liked vintage clothes.

Yes, my sense of humor is fairly dormant at the moment. What do you expect? I was with a bunch of French people for two weeks.