The youthful music of today has much to teach us.  For example, take the hit song “Low” by rapper Flo-Rida.  The full title is “Low” by Flo-Rida (feat. T-Pain). You know, when I was a kid, a guest musician would just play on a track without getting some big deal credit--like Sting singing backup on “Money For Nothing” or something. But nowadays, everything is “feat” this and “feat” that. If the Dire Straits were recording in the present day, it would have been “Money for Nothing” (feat. Sting).

This gives me an excellent idea.  From now on, I am demanding credit on projects that I help put together. For example, if my colleague Chad needs my assistance to develop a marketing research report, the title of the presentation will be “Proposed Vertical Expansion Plan for 2008” by Chad (feat. G Ho).

Flo-Rida has many other things to teach as well. For example, apparently you don’t need a real name to become a rapper; you just take a state name and split it in two.  I presume his followup single will feat. Connecti-Cut on the mike with Ore-Gon dropping them beats, y0.  But none of that Arkan-Sas crap--homie don’t hang with flyovers.

Hey, don’t look so grumpy, Flo-Rida! This is all in fun. Say, have you been working out? Now let’s look at the fine lyrics of your musical creation, “Low”:

She had them Apple Bottom Jeans
Boots with the fur [With the fur]

I like the sound of this last bit.  “With the fur” is a pleasing way to indicate that something is going well, or proceeding in a positive fashion. “With the fur,” my friends! 

The whole club lookin at her
She hit the floor [She hit the floor]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Wait...shawty?  What does that mean? Let’s consult the Urban Dictionary:

Shawty: A term orginating in Atlanta that, in the beginning, referred to a short person or child, but the span of the word has grown to include any and all people, especially a girl that is attractive.

But if you’re in Florida, why are you using terms from Atlanta? And if she’s short, doesn’t that mean she’s already low, at least to the ground? This song makes no sense.

Moving on:

Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reeboks with the straps [With the straps]
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack [Ayy]

Wait, which booty? Hers? Or was someone else standing around and she smacked their booty? Is this a song about “shawty” getting locked up for assault?

She hit the floor [She hit the floor]
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

So she hit the booty and then she hit the floor.  That’s a lot of hitting. This is a very violent song.  I am not sure I approve of “shawty” as a role model for today’s youth.

In conclusion, we can see that music has become very strange, and some of it isn’t very good, but there’s other parts of it that I like quite a bit. And frankly, isn’t it nicer to focus on the positive aspects than the negative?  With the fur!