As I sit in a sports bar in a Dallas airport, I am reflecting that if I were to start a sports bar--which would not be my first pick for a themed bar, as I find sports extremely boring--I would not make the waitresses dress like referees. There is something off putting about the idea of a referee.  They make people stop, and slow down, and skip the rest of the game. They are foreboding. Is this the right image that one wishes to give ones waitresses?  This is a sports bar; what is wrong with a cheerleader or two?

Plus, if I look to the side and kind of squint, they don’t look like referees at all but vaguely like women dressed in prison outfits--although, come to think of it, that would be my first pick for a themed bar.

Update!: Jesus God, I was just carded.  What is wrong with you people?  I am staring down the barrel of my forties; do you not see Death perched on my shoulder, not unlike the Hitchhiking Ghosts at the end of the popular Disneyland attraction The Haunted Mansion?  How am I now expected to drink this mojito with dignity?