You may have read that California experienced a 6.5 quake today.  I was sitting in front of my computer, writing an article about my company for a trade publication, and the four-story office began to sway like a palm tree.

Many people wonder why someone might stay in California given our vulnerability to quakes. I thought I’d help address the issue.

1. We’re badasses.  There is no more frontier to explore, so we prove our worth as men and women by staying in one place and surviving the tremors.  It puts hair on our chest. 

2. As a corollary to number one: other states are weenies.  They have no natural disasters to worry about except a few limp wristed tornadoes and floods.  Come talk to me when a live volcano errupts in the middle of your town square; otherwise, go shovel snow or chase cattle rustlers, whatever it is you do to occupy your time.

Even the states that used to be tough have fallen into disrepair.  When I visited New York this summer I found NYC to be completely different from the hard-as-nails urban jungle I remembered from the early ‘90s. I was there for several days and only exchanged gunfire with the citizenry three times. It used to be Van Damme; now it’s Pixar.

3. California earthquake insurance ($10,000 annual premiums for $75 worth of coverage) prevent us from foolishly frittering our money away on things like food and entertainment.

4. If we’re lucky, the portion of the state that’s not us will break off into the sea. Which means?  Instant beachfront property!

I think this lays the matter to rest.