If the Little Drummer Boy was such hot stuff, how come the only riff he could muster was “parump pum pum pum” over and over?

If he had the cojones to offer up drum action in lieu of gold and incense to honor the Baby Jesus, he should at least have had some facility with the instrument.

And I’m sure everyone was very happy when he started playing for the baby.  But then they realized he was playing the same damn bit over and over again.  “Paraump pum pum pum” times infinity.  The song ends with Baby Jesus smiling, but the story probably continues a few minutes after that--up until someone snaps “Okay, thanks, that’s just fine, thank you.  Bye.  See you when the next Messiah drops in.” And the drummer boy shuffles out of the manger and people whisper to themselves: “It’s a good thing it’s the thought that counts, because he was no Ringo Starr.”