It’s the year 2003, and I have successfully grilled turkey burgers. Thanks for everyone’s advice, comments, and sarcasm.

Next up is marinated steak. And then martinis, so I can make use of the martini glasses I won at my friend’s New Year’s Eve party.

(No, I’m not going to the grill the martinis. I just mean, I’m going to learn to make them.)

Oh. And happy frickin’ New Year. They’ve been delayed a few years, but I predict that this is the year the monoliths are coming to do some schoolin’. You scoff now, but we’ll see who becomes a highly evolved, glowing baby and who doesn’t.