I was so stupid as a kid. I always worked hard to win sports trophies, although I was terrible at everything. Baseball, soccer, basketball--I was awful at them all.
But then I realized I could just visit sporting goods stores and buy the trophies myself. Cut out the middleman.
Now it’s great. I keep a big trophy case in the middle of living room. By now I’ve grown quite a collection. It’s a great icebreaker. People look at it and exclaim “My God! Soccer and basketball and--rugby? Lacrosse? You must be really good!”
I just smile and say, “I like to think so.”
Brilliant idea! Do you think I could find beauty pagent awards second hand?
that reminds me of course of one of my favorite lines from Pride and Prejudice. lady catherine speaking about learning to play the piano “If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient.”
exactly my attitude about pretty much everything in life.
How about diplomas? D’you suppose one could win friends and influence people with second-hand diplomas? I’m fairly certain that I know some people who have received their degrees in this manner....
You are a winner in my book. You get the trophy for best Anthony Michael Hall impression.
You could win trophies the honest way. For example, most pints consumed while still holding your shit together, or most able to resist the drunken floozy at the end of the bar. Being an adult means you can compete in much better sports, the trick is getting someone to present you with a trophy for your accomplishments.
Sara’s idea reminds me of abominations like a Ed.D. from the University of La Verne held by a Supt of Schools I once knew. Ugh. Your soccer problem was not that you were not good, but that Spiderman was not good at soccer.
That is a great idea. I played a lot of right field in my undistinguished Little League career.
Yes, you’re not the second coming of Jim Brown, Pele, Joe Dimaggio, or Michael Jordan. I’d not be surprised if you couldn’t even match them to their sports.
However, it’s time to come clean “brain boy”—do you put your very real degrees in the trophy case?
Why didn’t you get some math tournament trophies while you were at it, you big dumb jock??
want me to send you my 3 foot tall hockey trophy that’s collecting dust in my basement? you could be a female hockey champion then too!
cute idea ... am printing own DIPLOMAs right now