It’s called “Mini Moo’s.” I believe this to be a grammatical error and that it’s probably meant to be plural, meaning that the name should be “Mini Moos.” But what if it’s accurate, and the apostrophe is meant to act as a possessive? What is this brand of coffee creamer meant to possess exactly--the ability to suck?
The primary brand of Mini Moo’s is “Land o’ Lakes,” which features the image of a pretty Native American woman. To me, this is mixing metaphors. What am I supposed to think of, a small cow or a hot girl? Is the creamer suggesting that the woman is actually a cow? This is not very nice.
The fact that there’s a Native American woman anywhere near the damn thing. What, we commit genocide against their people and in return they get to festoon our dairy products? “Thanks for that blanket covered in smallpox. In return, here, have some lightly salted butter.” The parent brand of Land o’ Lakes is a company called “Real"--I can only presume that stands for Real Sensitive.
It says “Not necessary to refrigerate.” This scares me.
It says “Shake Well before Using.” That, in combination with the lack of necessary refrigeration, really scares me.
I use this stuff five days out of the week.
Let this blog serve as my living will: I am prepared to donate my skeleton to science so nerds in coats can assess the after effects.
Posted by Greg at 08:04 AM.
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you are absolutely right. it should be labeled “Mini Moo” and she should be a shadowy ghostlike figure with the words “I’ll haunt you good!” coming out of a thought bubble.
Perhaps it all originates from one single small cow named Mini-Moo (of course named after the little guy in the Austin Powers MOOvies ((HAR, see what I did there?))), in which case the possessive is correct. This cow, our Mini-Moo, lives in Minnesota, aka the ‘Land o’ Lakes,’ therefore the charming squaw has a perfect right to be there.
Contrary to popular belief, Happy Cows do NOT live in California, they live in Wisconsin and Minnesota.
The only other thing that makes me think of is that thing that every college boy I ever knew had in his wallet: the little folded cut-out of the charming Native American LoL woman with the box cut out and where her kneecaps become her boobs. It would be hard to do it on something that teeny, though.
Between the hot dogs and the mini moo’s you won’t die, i’m sure… you’d just stop moving… in general… or something
I like to take the end tine a fork and poke four evenly spaced holes in the foil top of my mini moo. Then I invert it over my cup of coffee and squeeze the sides and pretend I’m milking a cow.
This always makes me giggle. Always.
That is brilliant!
I agree..why by the cow when you can get the milk from the hot Land o’ Lakes woman for free?
Mini Moo’s Half & Half means that it is the H&H;of a small cow, who has graciously shared it with you. Or you are taking the milk/cream out of the mouths of tiny young cows and ought to be ashamed of yourself.
This post terrified me until I finally realized we were not talking about butter.
I don’t know the whole cutting out the box and making the knees into boobs thing makes me think that the happy cows really are in CA… where college boys played with Real boobs.
Maybe the indian girl has really big boobs and her nickname around the tee-pee is Mini-Moo which is like calling a fat guy tiny… and in her spare time she fills up little containers with her milk. That’s kinda gross—like, here is my milk, enjoy your coffee. At least it’s not her cheese - wow, that would really be disgusting.
Seriously, now - what is the derivation and/or meaning of “Mini-Moo’s” It just can’t be that the product is the property of a small cow or other entity named “Moo,” can it?
What’s worse:
1. Most Native American peoples were hunter-gatherers until the advent of European immigrants; those that farmed did not engage in dairy farming.
2. The human ability to digest dairy products of any non-human species is a result of a fairly recent genetic mutation found in people of European and African descent; Asians, Pacific Islanders, and Native Americans often lack this mutuation.
Thus, even if Native Americans HAD (prior to European immigration) farmed dairy animals, they would have gotten sick when they attempted to ingest the dairy products.
Poor Miss Mimi Moo; she must be so busy!
I can tell you only that if that stuff sits for months in an unused conference room, you will definitely wish it had been refrigerated.
The shaking is to break up and distribute all the blobs of butterfat.
You’re welcome…
I’ve been a fan of this site for almost two years and just got an account. Just wanted to put my two cents in and say that.