There’s a plumber in my home.  (An old-time folk song that I just made up.)

Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home.
Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home.
I’ve been to London and I’ve been to Rome
But I never thought there’d be a plumber in my home.

It’s sort of grown up is what I think
It’s sort of grown up is what I think
Instead of buying CDs and drinks
I’m making sure that everything’s in sink.

(ukelele solo)

He’s a Chinese plumber named Ping
He’s a Chinese plumber named Ping
“Last time, no was professional job, I thing”
Is what he says as he surveys everything.

I won’t call my bank to get a loan floated
No, I won’t call my bank to get a loan floated
Even though pipes large and small are bloated
Ping’s not charging more than what he quoted.

Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home
Oh lord, there’s a plumber in my home…

But my sink will no longer be acting hyper
So I won’t mind having to pay the piper.

(Repeat first verse until fade out or until singers fall down drunk)

I love it!

Please tell me you offered to pay him in song instead of cash.

Posted by jennn  on  03/21  at  04:12 PM

ho-Ping Greg’s pipes flow:
rich spring brings much joy, bounty
to mind, body, home

Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  03/21  at  07:23 PM

very grown-up indeed, though i’m glad to see you’re still making up rhymes about events of daily life.  wink

and i liked “(ukelele solo)”.  heh!

Posted by romy  on  03/21  at  09:06 PM

I wrote a similar gospel number this weekend when there was a Brazilian cleaning lady in my apartment.  It was like the second coming, only it was the first ever.

Posted by EV  on  03/22  at  04:20 AM

In my head it sounded almost perfect, if only it was a mandolin solo. 

Posted by richard  on  03/22  at  05:11 AM

My, my. What other talents have you been hiding?

Posted by gimmy  on  03/22  at  06:22 AM

I thought we had an understanding that these puns would end.  For the love of God, there could be children reading.

Posted by cw  on  03/22  at  06:36 AM

you don’t see too many ukelele solos these days. bravo.

Posted by snowy  on  03/22  at  07:15 AM

I don’t really have anything to say to that...just that I’m laughing right now.

Posted by anna  on  03/22  at  07:47 AM

how do you dance to all that?

Posted by jaden  on  03/22  at  08:37 AM

I wonder if Ping knows that he’s an Internet celebrity now.

Posted by Jack  on  03/22  at  10:51 AM

Jaden, have a clue!! (Hint: (ukelele solo)) *dances hula*

Posted by  on  03/22  at  11:45 AM

You know that cow in Homer’s brain?  That’s how you dance to a ukelele solo (ok, so that would be hula as Dave said, but I thought you might need an obvious visual).

Posted by EV  on  03/22  at  12:34 PM

idunno Dave.
You know how Greg likes to wave his hands in the air…

Posted by jaden  on  03/22  at  01:31 PM

I was thinking maybe an interpretive modern dance might be good.

Posted by Miss Bliss  on  03/22  at  01:57 PM

This song needs to be recorded by Dolly, Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris on TRIOS: The Nightmare Continues.

Posted by hot toddy  on  03/22  at  02:31 PM

Yeah, but they can only do the trio if the bring Tiny Tim in to do the ukelele solo…

Posted by Dani  on  03/22  at  08:56 PM

You just knocked my “Oh, I’m driving down the little frontage road” song off the top of the Spur Of the Moment Ditty charts, ya bastard.

Posted by Jules  on  03/23  at  07:47 AM

You’re sure to be contacted by Darin from “Darin’s Dance Grooves.” Or maybe a big Broadway producer!

Posted by Casey  on  03/23  at  01:02 PM

Magnificent!  I’ll dance till my stockin’s are hot and ravellin’

Posted by Bet  on  03/25  at  07:24 PM