Let’s take some time out of our day to discuss the things that have really annoyed me lately:
People who clap after seeing one of those high-tech innovations commonly referred to as a “moving picture.” First of all, let me say that I’m glad you enjoyed your evening at the cinema and wish to convey your good feelings to the players and creators who made the presentation for you. But before doing so, perhaps we could briefly take a moment and discuss the difference between movies and live theater.
People who say--and I must literally hear this ten times a day at work--"It is what it is.” By saying this, people appear to be throwing up their hands and disclaiming any responsibility for improving the situation. I call shenanigans. In practically every situation, it is what it isn’t...that is to say, it’s not well thought out, it’s not right, it’s not fixed, it’s not okay. What if our caveman ancestors finished killing a three-toed brontosaurus sloth, gazed dully at the prehistoric landscape that surrounded them, and grunted “Well, it is what it is”? We would never have eventually had fire, wheels, coffee, or iPhones. It isn’t what it is. But I am. Sometimes.
Facebook has way too many walls. My Wall, Super Wall, Fun Wall. What’s next, the Sheena Easton “Sugar Walls” application?* And actually, that’s not the worse part; why are social networking sites still thriving? They are sooooo 2003. Web 2.0 is disappointing me; I expected that, by now, we would simply be able to hologram ourselves over to our “Top 10 Friends” while they’re undressing, pop up in a little burst of “Help Me Obi-Wan” light effects, and say “LOL! I see you’ve been blowing off going to the gym, chica!”
*Please ignore this pop culture reference if you were born any time after the ‘70s. Thanks.
Posted by Greg at 06:34 PM.
Filed under:
Permalink
I HATE it when people clap!!!1
For the sugar walls application I think you need to take yourself on over to Adult Friend Finder. Not that I, uhm, am for certain that it’s there, mind you. I’m just thinking, well, never mind. Let me finish this with, “Dirrty!”
Also, I always feel slightly embarrassed for those people that clap after a movie. It’s just so silly. Plus, with all their clapping and just sitting there like lumps, they’re getting in my way of getting the hell out of the theater. Sorry, I’m not the kind of person who sits through credits. I don’t know any of the people who worked on the movie, I don’t need to be able to tell them later that I saw them listed as key grip or second assistant to the director’s assistant. sigh.
re. clapping after movies: I think it’s just a bunch of people saying “I enjoyed the hell out of this” and communal experience and blah blah blah I like it. Also, if we didn’t have applause after movies, we couldn’t have booing at previews, and I think you’d miss that. As would Alvin.
I hate the clapping. Except, in 2005 I moved to LA, and then my husband got a job where sometimes if we wait 20 minutes into the credits his name appears. And we wait, and then we yell YAY! and clap.
You support serial commas and you hate “it is what it is.” Nice.
I’d tell you I lurve you, but then you’d have to kill me.
“I call shenanigans” - are you a Bubba the Love Sponge fan? That’s one of his favorite sayings.
but...every time people clap at a movie, an angel gets its wings!
the ‘sugar walls’ reference made me laugh out loud.
and clap.
Last weekend, I went to see “City Lights”, a 1931 Charlie Chaplin movie, with a live orchestra playing the soundtrack. People clapped when the movie ended...but the orchestra was still playing.
I was thoroughly confused.