Stairway to heaven.

Nearly a year ago I complained about being moved from the fourth floor to the third floor of the place where I work.  Since then I’ve kept quiet about it.  But I haven’t been resting.  I’ve been politicking.  I’ve been conversationing.  I’ve been trying to return to my perch way up in the sky.

I talked to the Facilities Manager:

“I need to go back to my old location.”

“Well, space is tight and we have to put people where we have room.  What’s the big deal?”

“It’s noisy down here.  I can’t concentrate on reading other people’s blogs.”

“What?  What did you say?”

“Uh, I said the noise makes my head feel like it’s in a fog.”

“Oh.  I thought you said you couldn’t read other people’s blogs.”

“Ha!  Ha!  It is to laugh!  I would never say such a thing!”

“I don’t know whether you’d say such a thing or not.  What the hell is a blog?”

I also talked to the CFO:

“I need to go back to the fourth floor.  Part of my job here is creative.  I am an artist.  I need peace, quiet, and privacy to ply my trade.”

“Oh yeah, you’re a real artist.  Let me read a section from your latest press release: ‘The company today announced the appointment of Harlan Smithee to Vice President of Strategic Development.’ It’s practically Shakespearean.”

“No, I wrote that when I was still in my old space.  Here, take a look at one I wrote yesterday.”

“Let me see that:  ‘The company today announced the appointment of REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM’....okay, I can see your point.”

Today I return to my old, quiet location.  And I’m not going to treat this victory lightly.  I intend to use my newfound workplace stability to write the great American novel produce exciting marketing copy that will help my company reach its strategic objectives.

It could be worse--you could be in my situation, where your whole team is moved from glorious third floor offices with floor to ceiling windows to THE BASEMENT. Forget being creative; we just want to see a bit of daylight. 

Posted by Ismat  on  04/22  at  03:27 AM

I used to have the best window in the building. It was right in front and I got to watch when kids got in trouble. After they had been suspended, they would have to walk with their angry parent past my window. It was the best to get to watch a mad parent after they had just gone through the humiliation of sitting in the principal’s office hearing what stupid thing their kid just did. Now I’m in a new room. While I don’t get the vicarious thrills of watching parents yell at their kids, I do get to watch the elementary school playground next door. It’s relaxing.

Posted by Fully  on  04/22  at  04:05 AM

Just don’t take, my little , red...stapler… That’s.... my stapler.  But, I don’t like… no… stapler.... red stapler… my stapler…

Posted by  on  04/22  at  04:29 AM

Good luck executing your synergistic paradigm objectives in peace and quiet.

Posted by cw  on  04/22  at  04:33 AM

In six weeks, my whole department moves from our third floor suite with views of trees and some office buildings to a ground floor location where we are actually below grade with windows at side walk level.  Now we will get views of bus tires as they pass by. Yuk!  At least, we’ll all be in the mood to celebrate Groundhog day next year.

Posted by Matt (Greg's Dad)  on  04/22  at  05:21 AM

if i ever got a window i’d never get a lick of work done. plus, there’s always the possibility that i’d throw someone out of it. 

Posted by patricia  on  04/22  at  06:06 AM

You people have windows??  How I dream of windows......

Posted by  on  04/22  at  06:42 AM

what are these ... windows of which you speak?

but seriously, last summer i worked on the 9th floor of a tall (well, it was) building that overlooked the municipal park.  from the claims department of our offices you could see the park’s zoo - specifically, the elephants.  it made my days worth not complaining about.  smile

Posted by romy  on  04/22  at  06:46 AM

We are about to relocate our entire staff to a location a block or two away. I lose my window but get an office in which I don’t have my back to the doorway and my monitor in plain view of everyone that passes. I also get a door that I can close so that I can play itunes to my heart’s content. I get so much more done when I can be massaged by the sound of grating guitars and master musicians of joujouka.

Posted by DirtyDanSin  on  04/22  at  06:56 AM

I heart my cubicle

Posted by  on  04/22  at  07:14 AM

I see I’m not the only one who enjoys a random redruming. It pisses my friends off though. They’re babies.

Posted by melly  on  04/22  at  07:39 AM

I don’t have a job.  Still.

Posted by J.  on  04/22  at  07:47 AM

When I interviewed here they gave me a corner window overlooking the bay and bridge from 10 stories up.  Now I’m in an interior cube on 5, so cloistered as to be nearly invisible.  It has advantages.  Once I got a job in a beautiful Union Square edwardian office bldg, I had my own office with a big window - then in 2 months we moved to under an onramp for the bay bridge (at 2nd) and my “office” was a filing closet with no door and no desk. 

Moral: I’m blogging at work. 

Posted by dan  on  04/22  at  09:20 AM

one of the walls in my space is entirely a window.  and it’s awesome!

except when the sun shines directly into my eyes so that i can’t see anything.

and except when it’s raining and it makes me all depressed.

and when it gets really cold and the crappy windows just let the cold in.

and when it’s noisy outside and the noise comes right in.

other than that: awesome.

Posted by bryan  on  04/22  at  10:29 AM

I never read blogs at work either. Uh uh. Never. Not me. Nope.

Posted by gimmy  on  04/22  at  12:57 PM

The last office I sat in was actually called “the colon”. It was an understatement. 

Posted by Flip  on  04/22  at  08:01 PM

really.  is there anything in life more motivating than a strategic objective?  i think not. 

Posted by the mighty jimbo  on  04/23  at  08:00 AM

“It is to laugh!”

Ha! 

Posted by anna  on  04/23  at  10:46 AM

BwahHAH-- sorry don’t know how to spell coffee spitting out my mouth in laughter as I read your post.

Posted by bluepoppy  on  04/24  at  07:50 AM

Cheeky! ...sorry, I have no idea why I had to write that word.

Quit your jobs, start your own businesses, and make the window decisions yourself!

Posted by Brooks  on  04/26  at  07:57 PM

I had a better cube at my internship than I’ve had during my career.  Those were some unproductive days, let me tell ya!  Nice work on re-claiming your personal space.

Posted by Almost Lucid (Brad)  on  04/28  at  01:11 PM