I’m a lifelong fan of Spider-Man, but I never really thought the character had much integrity to lose from a merchandising standpoint.  He’s always been plastered all over lunchboxes, shirts, yo-yos, underwear, and everything else.

That is, until I saw a Spider-Man slot machine.  At the Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut this week, I stared in horror as players greedily waited for rows of J. Jonah Jameson, Aunt May, and Spidey heads to drop into place.

My first thought: I’m flashing back to the war.  My second thought: But I was never in a war.  My third thought: That must have been a serious war because I don’t remember being in it, but I’m obviously flashing back to it anyway because there’s no other explanation for a Spider-Man slot machine.