- Hey Greg, you lift, right? You can bench your own body weight, right?
- Uh...huh?
- Yeah, if you lift regularly, you should be able to bench your own body weight.
- Oh, uh, sure. I can totally do that.
- Good. Because--
- We’re talking about my body weight after three weeks of not eating or drinking, right?
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There’s only a few tickets left for the first woman blogger’s conference Blog Her. The tickets are $100. Do they come with a free lapdance from Dooce?
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- These drops will help us see if you have a condition known as “dry eyes.”
- Oh, I don’t have that.
- How do you know?
- I choked up at the end of Shawshank Redemption.
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I recently heard a creationist theory I’ve never heard before: baby dinosaurs were part of Noah’s ark. At first, I thought that’s completely cool. I love dinosaurs. As a kid, the only chapter in the encyclopedia I would read was the chapter about dinosaurs. I had dinosaur action figures. If you’re going to believe in creationism, why not make allowance for dinosaurs?
But then I started thinking about it, and realized it simply would never work. Let’s get past the point about having a brontosaurus on the upper deck and a stegosaurus in the cargo hold. Capacity isn’t a valid objection. I think we can all pretty much acknowledge at this point that Noah had one honking large boat.
No, my issue is, how could we possibly have sheep in 2005?
If you’ve got a couple of baby raptors about, what are they going to do? They’re going to go gnaw on some sheep. They would eat all the sheep. By all rights, we should not have sheep in the modern day.
But then I thought: what if the dinosaurs were full because they already snacked on some big fluffy cute animal that no longer exists? That would explain both how dinosaurs were able to be on the boat, and why we still have sheep.
Fluffywumpums, we hardly knew ye.
Hahahahahaahahahaha...well maybe the dinosaurs munched on tasty passenger pigeons.
You in need of a small vacation there Greg? BTW the Fluffywumpums is very cute.
it’s a damn good thing i don’t have a boyfriend currently because i fear that after reading this post i’d have to start calling him fluffywumpum. boy, would that end a relationship but quick. whew.
great cartoon.
i find fluffywumpums kind of creepy. i’ll take the sheep.
Beware, the Lord does not appreciate such blasphemy.
Heheh. Awesome.
Clearly you are unaware of the proven fact that sheep in Noah’s day were HULKING, FEARSOME CREATURES who ate baby dinosaurs between meals. It’s only after the dinosaurs died out that sheep could take it easy and devolve into the winsome fluffballs we know today.
Good Lord, who doesn’t want a lap dance from Dooce?
As a female recovering Mormon I’d say that would help me move past some of my issues…
On a related note, my friend just sent me this which is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
If all the other animals from the ark survived, such as the helpless sheep and tastey piggies, where did the dinosaurs go? Did humans kill them off for eating Fluffywumpums?
I just think Noah didn’t take them...yeah, he was thinkin’ about it and decided against it…
Greg, is your friend from Portland?
EV is almost right. Check this out.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4165973.stm
He’s not from Portland; he send the comics in an email attachment. I simply found it in a Portland newspaper when I went Google searching for a hyperlink.
I just saw something on PBS about Fluffywumpum fossils found near the everglades.
PG, I particularly like the picture that accompanies that article. The picture of the wolf-racoons devouring the bloody head of a baby dinosaur.
How sweet…
I love dinosaurs as well.
And now I love Fluffywumpus!
the dinosaurs probably ate some rabbits. cause you know, when you have two rabbits you have 20. as long as noah held on to two he knew he was okay.
Nooo, Fluffywumpum bones were found here in San Jose. True story!
Bwahahaha!
that dooce bit is GOLD, good work.
Are you trying to tempt me, Greg?
We all know the theory, right, that the animals were in a semi-hybernated state, so your second theory is spot on. I think. I would like to know why, if dinosaurs were on the ark (and they were), we still have John Kerry because wouldn’t they have eaten Noah, the unnamed-yet-should-be-thankful-she-was-even-mentioned-wife, Shem, Ham, and Japheth, and their unnamed-yet-also-should-be-thankful-to-have-been-mentioned-wives, and any of their offspring (after all, what else was there to do while waiting for the storm to pass?) before, or perhaps even after the mutton?