Our company Intranet has an online employee directory. You can look up coworkers and see their names, phone numbers, and their pictures.
One of our web development guys made the mistake of telling me how to find the folder in which the directory’s photos are stored. I immediately went and swapped out my photo, which was out of date anyway, for this one:
I thought to myself, ha. Now that is good natured, wholesome comedy that can’t even get me fired. If only the whole world sought comedy hijinks of such a gentle sort. What a wonderful world we would live in! I mean, come on. Think about it for a second. Someone looks me up on the employee directory? They get a funny picture. It is to laugh! What pleasant, heartwarming tomfoolery!
But then I realized something: I now have the power to replace anyone’s picture on the employee directory. I could find other people and turn them into
Did someone look at me crosseyed in a meeting? Did someone act as though my every utterance was not akin to the words of a higher power? How’d you like to be the hated ruler of North Korea, bucko?
So now I know how alcoholics feel. I sit down at my computer each morning and I’m shaking, sweating, trying to defeat the compulsion, the awful, awful temptation. For I know two things: that is a brand of humor that could, indeed, get me fired. But I also know that there are many, many people who could, in theory, look themselves up on the employee directory only to find:
Posted by Greg at 03:04 AM. Filed under:
(21) Comments • (0) Trackbacks • Permalink
Great power… requires great responsibility… chose wisely grasshoppa.
DO IT.
That’s the gayest picture of Superman I’ve ever seen. He looks like he’s doing a ballet move from Swan Lake.
You might want to reconsider posting that in your spot.
i was already cracking up, and then peg’s comment made me nearly lose my coffee (thanks a lot, peg. dude, CAFFEINE IS PRECIOUS). isn’t “swan lake” what the S is for on superman’s chest?
it’s a bird ... it’s a plane ... it’s ...
a lithe and supple superhero in a colorful cape and tights!
have fun with the photo-ops, man.
I like the picture; it’s more iconic than the standard cartoon drawing. And as for the ballet connection--c’mon, the guy wears tights. What do you expect?
Dude.
I was fine until I saw BOB SAGGET!!!
haaaahaha
I’d kind of like to see a company where everyone in the directory is bob sagget, except maybe you can be vin diesel or Robert DeNiro from Cape Fear. Either you start getting a lot busier, or a lot less busy. Either way, you know you’ve made an impact.
My company ID card photo has a white background and I’m wearing a white shirt so I appear as a grinning but disembodied head. That, too, might be effective, if you can photoshop in some cool dripping gore or something.
Thanks for the laugh - great way to start the day
I’ll give you five bucks if you replace your employee photo with this:
http://www.chrisruzin.net/images/uploads/dancing_boy.gif
better yet, replace the IT Director’s photo. It’s probably more accurate anyway, right?
Temptation is a terrible thing.
Temptation makes the world go ‘round.
“tomfoolery” and “bucko”. just, wow.
Or go that extra mile of effort and just draw moustaches on everyone.
one word
FARM ANIMALS
Ok two words.
Remind me to not visit your site when I’m supposed to be paying attention in class. I’d hate my civpro professor to think I find subject matter jurisdiction such a hilarious topic.
Well, if you swap them out with Kim Jong Il, at least they won’t feel so ronery.
What’s with you and capes?
Duder, you really get paid on this job?
you crack me, that is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. I wish you worked at my company, I have a few pics I’d like to change.
at *my* company, they punish you for winning EOM by posting your picture on the bulletin board. kissing up to HR does *not* help. i don’t work late anymore. okay, so i do, but now i do it at home alone…