Biking can be an excellent source of cardio exercise. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can simply jump on a bike and start riding. The battle lines between cars and bicyclists have slowly been drawn for years, and you need to understand the rules of engagement.
In order to be a part of bike culture, you must follow a series of very specific cultural directives. Mainly, it’s necessary to be a fascist in your quest to hog the road, weaving in and out of driver blind spots as though your sense of equilibrium has been permanently damaged by listening to Metallica at full volume. Is your green, orange, and yellow spandex too tasteful? Don’t feel shy about adding a purple helmet and pink shoes. Curse out cars who veer as little as two inches in your direction, and curse out anybody with a “MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT” bumper sticker just out of general principle. Be sure to carry a cloud of smugness around you that ensures that every motorized vehicle within visual range understands your inherent superiority and your ability to save the environment from destruction by sheer virtue of your finely tuned calves and pedaling acumen. Most importantly, remember that road signs are simply a suggestion, not a directive. Glide past Yield and Stop Signs as though they’re project deadlines at work, and stare blankly at any motorist who screeches on the brakes in an attempt to avoid hitting you.
Bicyclists sound like a hard-bitten bunch of felons, don’t they? Don’t judge too harshly; they’re simply reacting to their environment. Most drivers fly into a fit of road rage at the mere sight of a U-lock. In their eyes, call bicyclists are a pack of potential eco-terrorists, and should be exiled to Romania where they can ride up and down hills to their heart’s content. Drivers feel as though that if God intended people to ride bikes, he would never have created five-lane highways.
Motorists and bicyclists constitute one of the great blood feuds of the last century, making the Sri Lanka’s Tamil Tigers and Sinhalese majority look like the cast of “Up with People.” Good way to burn calories--if you survive the experience.
you must be right because just reading your post made me bristle.
bad drivers are just as common as bad cyclists.
grump
signed
a good cyclist.
I went on a bike ride once. I burned about 9,000 calories out of pure undiluted fear.
A further refinement of this - as a long-time (relatively law-abiding) cyclist, I feel a special anger towards people driving CARS with perfectly good BICYCLES strapped to them. Especially SUVs attached to bicycles. They’re probably headed out to tear up some perfectly good hiking trails with their gigantic fat tires and mega-brakes. Grrrr.
Maybe I should chill?
I admire the cyclist very much, but I hate them, too. I am sure I am going to end up accidentally crashing into one with my car one of these days, and that is going to seriously put a crimp in my evening.
Where I live (and ride) there’s only one road rule: logging trucks always have the right of way.
Hahaha, the last time I rode a bicycle was in college. It was cheap and I got it from K-mart to get across campus.
I think the solution is to let ‘em duke it out on the side of the road. Natural selection. That will clear the roads for the rest of us.
The medical group from which I just retired has lost three doctors in the past three years as a consequence of sudden death. Two bicyclists, one jogger. No natural deaths. And my personal physician lost 9 months work recovering from injuries suffered in bicycle accident. My former private practice partner rides regularly with two friends, both of whom have suffered major injuries while bicycling.
I feel you’re argument is one-sided. There is a long first paragraph devoted to berating cyclists and then as an after thought you try to take the cyclists side. Our struggle will never be over.
Harsh. The battle is unfair since the cars have the bigger weapon.
I love cyclists, and as one, am weary of drivers who think only of themselves.