My neighbors are tired of all racket coming from my place, and with the water being shut off at midday to fix plumbing problems. Every day, they gather around my door. And every day, I have to release black smoke, indicating that the flooring job isn’t finished yet.
Wouldn’t it suck if one of the bishops burned something in the kitchen on the day that they were ready to announce the new pope? Everyone’s waiting in St. Peter’s Square, and they issue a collective groan when they see clouds of black smoke: “Aw, for crying out loud. Okay, whatever, we’ll be back tomorrow.” And Vatican officials go running after them “No, come back! We have a new pope--those are just hash browns.”
I’m really scared that the name of the new pope, Joseph Ratzinger, is a typo and they actually chose John Ratzenberger, who played Cliff on Cheers. That would really suck. He’d get up to the microphone and wheedle “Most people don’t realize that the papacy has a long and complicated history,” and then proceed to rattle off facts for several hours.
I was wondering when someone was going to make that joke. I kept making that connection. I should have known it would be you.
‘Good thing Ratzinger changed his name. Got any jokes about the name Benedict?
Pope Cliff Claven I. You know what...I think I rather like the sound of that.
POPE!!
John Paul I, John Paul II and Benedict XVI - three men who have never been in my kitchen
adam
and greg - seriously, you HAVE to make me stop spitting coffee at the screen. great post title and everything.
I’m quite pleased about the choosing of the name Benedict (yeah, he’s number XVI, I know, but still). It means we get to make Much Ado About Nothing jokes about the pope now. No idea what type of Much Ado jokes, but the opportunity is what counts.
That must be why there are no kitchens in or particuarly close to the Sistine Chapel. Not that I noticed, anyway.
I wonder if they make something called “The Big Book of Pope Names” so that all the frontrunners (or fantasizers) can spend hours looking through and trying to decide what they’d pick. And their friends are like “no, don’t go with Cody, that is SO trendy”.
“Pope Cody” - sounds Awesome! Cody Gifford for Pope in 2060!
I think Cliff Claven would be a big improvement.
“I’m the wingnut that holds Catholicism together.” - Pope John Ratzenberger
Ok, let’s get all the Pope puns out of the way, right here, right now:
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Pope-ular.
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New Pope? He won’t last… I think they’ll bring back John Paul’s corpse and sell him to the people as “Pope Classic”
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I thought Cardinal Secola was going to get it, but I guess they didn’t want Pope Secola (read it aloud)
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Pope Star
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Pope & Pray
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Pope-a-dope
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Pope Trick
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The Straight Pope
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Pope-ing mechanism
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Popen Sesame
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Popémon
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Pope-tential
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and just for Joe Lieberman:
Pope-mentum
Had enough?
Every time I har the name, I think of Bill Murray in the movie “Quick Change.” The detective’s name was Ratzinger.
Cliff Claven was my first thought when they announced the new Pope...my second thought was that he could never top his performance in Motel Hell.
Why does the Pope change his name?
Tradition, Brad. Il Papa changes his name out of tradition. I was told it started because one gentleman crowned pope was named Mercury and the church seemed to think it unwise to have a Pontif named for a Roman (i.e. Pagan)god, so they found something more suitable. As it happens (to be totally irrelevant), Mercury is my cat’s name.
Greg: You=funny S.O.B.
Remember Pope on a rope? I think it was soap. Soap pope on a rope. Dope!
I like the idea of using white or black smoke to communicate a yes or no answer. I’m going to employ this in my current job search.