One gradually accumulates a list of reasons to distrust people. One of the highlights of my list is people who give their pets human names.
If you have a dog, you simply can’t call her “Sally.” If you have a cat, you simply can’t call him “Fred.” These are people completely unclear on the concept of “pets.” Pets are not people, and as a result, it’s imperative that you give them names that distinguish them from our own species.
I am willing to grant an exception if I am able to stand over the shoulder of the pet while he or she does your taxes for you. If the animal can pull this off, I will personally shake Reginald’s paw and congratulate him on his ability to find hidden deductions even after several loopholes were closed last year. If your pet fails to accomplish this, you need to look up “opposable thumbs” and toss out that book of baby names until you actually find yourself with a dependent who does not have fur, feathers, or gills.
Please try not to veer all the way over to “Mr. Wiggles,” however.
Had to comment since my dog’s name is George 9and she’s female) and my cat’s name was Sally. Sally’s gone now, but her progeny lives on - Toast.
I totally agree, that is why my cats are named after peanut butter and produce items. My brother has a dog named Sally, however, but this is only so he can say: LAY DOWN SALLY.
I barely think Rufus counts. I mean have you ever met a Rufus? Come to think of it, I had an english bulldog named Humphrey as well when I was a kid, but he was named after the ktvu ‘humphrey and charlie’ dog. Remember him?! I need to google that stuff right now!
Thanks!
Ah, come on! I dream of having a dog named “Brian” a la Family Guy. Or a cat named Eric. Or a cage full of hamsters each named after an ex-boyfriend…
But what about people who give their children pets’ names? Like Coco, Shiloh, or Apple?
So I guess naming my cat Professor McGonagal is right out?
1. my sister-in-law’s dog is named Dog. Not even deeohjee - just Dog. That just seems unfair.
2. Eric is the name of a pet bee, or half-a-bee. or an halibut. “cat” seems to be fouth choice, just ahead of fruit-bat. Doesn’t anybody watch the <a hrefhttp://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/python/fish.html">classics</a> anymore? http://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/python/fish.html in case the link didn’t work…
Dave (dog) and I heartily disagree. In less contentious news, dan has me finally wishing to acquire a baby, if only to name him “Baby”. I would find that funny for at least 18 years.
I’m surprised nobody pointed out that most people can’t do their taxes.
What about names that some people have but that really are better as pets names?
As evidence, my mother’s dogs are named Daisy and April. Her cat is named Chloe.
In my mind, these should be pet names and I have difficulty taking people with these names seriously, though this could be because I grew up with pets with those names.
Donovan, I suspect the dog is actually named “David Letterman,” which would then get a pass.
Harry Potter--well, that’s a gray area.
What if you’re a spinster who will probably never get married and your child bearing years are over and the only thing that makes you happy is your cat Edmund “Eddy” Fitzgerald Orange (named after one of my favorite songs and the best soap character ever Edmund Grey)? What then?
Similar to the Letterman issue, naming the thing after a pop culture fizzy mixture makes it somewhat more iconic and creative than calling the thing “Scott” because you are dead inside, so that gets a pass.
There’s nothing wrong with Mr. Wiggles.
He was acquitted of all charges.
With our cat, you get to choose between her humanesque name, Penelope, or her pedigree name, Dollhill Chui Mototo (Dollhill being her “sire” and Chui Mototo meaning “Tiger Child” in swahili or some such). It is worth noting that neither of these names were given to her by us.
we had a dog called Sally. And she was much loved.
Less loved was the family friend we think she was her namesake, and never could we take human Sally seriously again.
My mother has since called her Miniature Schnauzer, Lolita, Princess of Carlingford. Lolly for short.