1. Many serial killers have eaten mushrooms.
2. The popular acceptance of mushrooms have crowded out toadstools, which are much more interesting on both an aesthetic and philosophical level.
3. Everyone likes mushrooms and that makes it difficult for me to get the pizza topping I want: artichoke hearts and garlic.
4. Snowshoe Crab also hates mushrooms. And does she look unhealthy to you?
5. They taste really, really bad.
6. No mushroom has ever had any good words to say about me.
7. I once misplaced my car keys for a little while, and for all I know mushrooms were responsible.
8. If I fell into a 30 foot vat of mushrooms, I would eventually suffocate and die.
9. When radiation in our atmosphere turns mushrooms into 50-foot man-eating killers, don’t come crying to me.
10. The only good mushrooms I ever had were in Italy when I had this amazing mushroom risotto that tasted so good that it didn’t even taste like mushrooms, which means it wasn’t actually mushrooms but a big Italian trick played by Italians, which proves that mushrooms are always bad and therefore I hate them.
Mmmm....portobello mushroom burger. mmmmmm
You are sick man. You don’t like mushrooms??? I bet you just love avocado, don’t you?
aww linky love.*sniff*
mushrooms are evil and vile little organisms. you, however, are pure sweet dulce de leche, my man!
11. some mushrooms look like mishappen penii. and that just cant be a good sign.
Funny you say that about mushroom risotto… I actually went off mushrooms entirely for two years *because* of a mushroom risotto which was basically a huge pile of wild mushrooms adorned with scattered bits of rice.
Oh Greg, we are kindered spirits. John and I both detest mushrooms. And every holiday my super chef sister-in-law insists we all try her stuffed portobello mushrooms.
*retch*
So they are responsible for my car remote falling off my keychain and getting lost last week. I should have known - damn fungi!
It’s been suggested that it was actually a mushroom on the Grassy Knoll.
Dude, we are so mushroom twins. I hate ‘em, they scare me. Part of the reason I won’t eat them is Matt’s appended #11. Things shaped like that, I just don’t eat. It’s a rule I have. They also remind me of what various points of my innards would look like sliced open. I also make a rule of not eating vegetable-things that look like my innards. But I will eat meat. I know, I confuse myself too.
- Also -
It’s not widely known, but mushrooms stowed away on all of the failed Mars missions. Coincidence?
Hehehehehe! Quite interesting and humorous entry. I, on the other hand, love mushrooms. I find them to be almost as sensual as avocados! Ummmmm
11. awhile back, we were ordering chinese food and this one guy was being all picky about not having mushrooms on his food. a mushroom-despiser myself, i didn’t question this.
the food arrived, and soon i was slurping happily on my hot and sour soup. the anti-mushroom guy asked for a sip and i gave him one. then, when i reached the bottom of the bowl, i saw a mushroom. a big, fat, completely not-cut-into-little-slices mushroom.
i asked the guy, “um, when you were being all picky about no mushrooms? it’s not because you’re ALLERGIC, like DEATHLY ALLERGIC, is it?”
“yes,” he replied, and went to the hospital.
Fungus. Why would you eat fungus? Why not eat mould while you’re at it?
Mushrooms are Revolting.
dude, I’ve got like twelve little mushrooms growing under my desk and they’re in TEARS because you hate them. One of my best friends hunts wild mushrooms in Orinda and they taste like a campfire smells, or even better. And he’s got a few he’s saving that smell exactly like maple syrup; I’d not have believed him except I sniffed his shrooms down in his garage. Of course, he also smokes toad venom, but that’s altogether different. He refuses to touch their stools.
this post did nothing but make me hungry
you forgot to mention the #1 reason not to eat mushrooms:
THEY ARE GROWN ON MANURE.
My dad lives in mushroom country, and the whole freaking AREA stinks like cow and horse shit. MUSHROOMS ARE SHIT GROWERS. Fuck if I’m putting that nasty crap in my mouth. Unless it’s gonna get me wicked high, in which case, stand back!
It’s all about the logicl.
Mushrooms=fungus
athlete’s foot=fungus
therefore
Athlete’s foot=mushrooms
That’s all it took for me…
i will happily share an artichoke/garlic/ mushroom-free pizza so long as i can add roma tomatos to my portion.
Heheheheh. Thanks for the laugh. Insert random bits of flattery *here* for being creatively witty. (Or, if you prefer, they can be assorted bits. ... Okay, I’m through being lame now. Thanks for the amusing post.)
I’m totally at a loss here. I’m not even sure we can be Friendsters anymore. Quick, tell me my butt looks good in these pants, or its all over.
oh, thank you. i’ve been promoting the eradication of mushrooms (and swiss cheese) from the face of the earth - and this just reminded me i’m on the right path
it took me until #3 to realize you didn’t mean the hallucinagenic kind
mushrooms are better than you. amen brother mushroom.
where can i pick magic shrooms