Baby Fear Factor.
Potential situations:
- Forcing them to eat spinach
- Forcing them to walk before they’re ready
- Let them listen to Wiggles records but only backwards
When ratings start to dip:
- Force them to walk across perilous rivers swimming with crocodiles
- Force them to make gourmet dinners for elite society using only commonly found household ingredients
World’s Most Dangerous Babies.
Potential stars:
- Baby who spits
- Baby who pukes
- Baby who throws food around
When ratings start to dip:
- Baby with machine gun
- Baby with poison darts
- Al-Qaeda babies
The Real World: Montessori Pre-School
Potential character types:
- Artist baby (ace at fingerpainting)
- Aspiring rapper baby (M.C. Babyface)
- Volatile baby that causes all the conflict--grumpy, refuses to take naps (possibly still breast fed?)
When ratings start to dip:
- Celebrity teachers (The Coreys, Haim and Feldman, drop in for a guest lecture; hilarity ensues)
- Celebrity baby Show-and-Tell (Britney Spears’s baby, Sean, can show the others his scars from the many times he was hurtled out of his car seat and through the windshield; Tomkat’s baby, Suri, can show everyone the special gills implanted into his skin as a gift from his alien godfathers; Brangelina baby shows hot pics of Mom)
i’d like to add baby with loose fit diaper as a potential world’s most dangerous candidate
Are Cam or Mighty Mouse’s baby exemplars of one of these types? Will Shelley’s or Jenny’s babies fit in? The world waits for the answer!
I learned to ‘just say no’ to hot mom pics back in Talmage after a girl showed me her hot mom doing things with a big group of bikers.
You are spot on at predicting the next reality show concept, I will look forward to seeing the Corey’s lecturing Montessori babies on Fox next season.
Mutual of Omaha’s Juvenile Kingdom (Jim’s going to wrestle this bruising toddler to the mat so we can tag him and get his arrowroot cookies.)
Entertainment Tonight Junior (comings and goings of the proverbial preverbal offspring of the rich and famous - Leeza’s going to spend five minutes with Apple and see what she did to that arrowroot cookie.)
Gum the Press (Tim Russert tries to get an intelligent response out of stem cell donors; ultimately “takes arrowroot” on national television, but not in the bad way)
As the owner of a baby, I think they’re much more entertaining when actually on the television itself, precariously teetering amidst the cables and wires, than just being broadcast. There’s no greater entertainment value than a trapped, electrified baby.
I’ve got at least 2 categories (Puke master and The Pre-School Instigator) sewn up. I’ll have My People call Your People.
My congratulations on your use of the word ‘ace’. You are now what we aussies call a ‘true bogan’.
The only thing baby fear factor is missing is a grapefruit feeding.