Between Texas and planning my event, gym time has suffered recently, so my workout yesterday was both short and somewhat nausea inducing.  On top of that, I once again encountered my old nemesis--the Butt Blaster.  Other pieces of equipment in the gym have normal names like Star Trac and Health Rider.  Is it absolutely necessary that I’m forced to look around nervously before using this particular device?  It’s a stretching machine, for God’s sake.  There’s no call for that kind of label.

I don’t see why they can’t simply go back to the genus and phylum of the equipment in order to provide accurate, non-humiliating names.  For example, if this was a cartoon and Wile E. Coyote had ordered the machine from Acme, everything would freeze in mid-air and under the machine you’d see something pragmatic and soothing like “Buttockicus Stretchikus.”