Lyricist.

I’ve had “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” in my head for days.  Other than listening to the song over and over, a method I’ve found to help exorcise songs is to take ownership of them by scribbling out my own lyrics--such as in a meeting when I’m bored:

It’s hard out here for a goose
When you don’t have enough hair to warrant mousse
If your prose style stays slack and loose
People will be a rather readin’ Dooce

It’s good to scribble on oblique topics like this, because when people look over your shoulder, they think they’re still paying attention.

“Dooce? Is that a new business process for the department?”

“Yes, exactly. As in, if we don’t finish these projects, we’ll all be Dooced.”

Thanks a lot, now you’ve got me doing it.

Posted by Alan  on  03/07  at  09:15 AM

here’s a better way to exorcise that song..."we are the world.  we are the children. we are the ones who make a better day, so let’s start livin’...”

Posted by  on  03/07  at  09:22 AM

It’s official. That song is now mechanically implanted in my brain.

Albeit with new and improved lyrics, though.

Posted by Jess  on  03/07  at  10:00 AM

HIGH-larious!

Posted by kathy  on  03/07  at  11:33 AM

I am tempted to purchase a tub of the Goose Repellent that Google chose to advertise to the left of this post!

Posted by  on  03/07  at  01:26 PM

One of the ads is for “Goose Control.” To me that suggests choosing your friends carefully and watching out for strangers moving too close.

Posted by  on  03/07  at  04:38 PM

oh dear.

Posted by michelle  on  03/07  at  05:14 PM

Hey, I like the idea of doing astrological forecasts with my Google ads!

Posted by Greg  on  03/07  at  05:28 PM

hey...I have time to read you AND dooce. so keep writing those lyrics...and thanks for the tip...you think you could write one for that LO LO LO LOVE Jessica Simpson song thats out? because its damn annoying. and damn addictive....

Posted by mindy  on  03/08  at  12:47 AM

Dooce?

I don’t think so.  And that’s all I think I can say at this point.

Posted by Rae  on  03/08  at  06:29 AM

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

Now, what can you do with, “I wanna rock and roll all night....”?

Posted by jw  on  03/08  at  08:37 AM

Oh man, I hope you have blog insurance.

Posted by See Wilson Go  on  03/08  at  11:32 AM

No Dooce.
More Goose.

Posted by yellojkt  on  03/08  at  02:05 PM

Nice work. I don’t think I’ve ever seen “goose” and “mousse” rhymed before.

Posted by Dana Lynn  on  03/08  at  08:17 PM