This is a typical exchange at the annual Tahoe trip I usually take with my friends:
- So, Greg, are you up or down?
- Down two dollars.
- Two dollars. Right. And that was from--?
- Well, I blew a buck at the penny slots…
- And the other dollar?
- ...the Simpsons pinball machine.
The fact is, I don’t like to gamble. It’s not a pleasurable experience. Part of the fact is that I always lose, which is likely because I believe I’m going to lose. I am not especially religious or superstitious, but I do believe that our attitudes and perceptions create the world in which we live. So if I think I’m going to lose at a card game, I will lose. If I expect Adam Sandler to create bad movies, then he will.
Watching those slots spin into place is not a feeling of joy. It’s more like a tight, tense feeling of fear, such as when you wake up after a night of drunken excess and realize that the hooker named Laverne ran off with your wallet and car. You know that feeling as well as I do, and it’s no bed of roses. Plus, have you realized that slot machines are now computerized? At least when they used to run on rubber bands and pulleys, you could pretend that you had a fighting chance. These days, forget it. The computers are only programmed to create jackpots for obnoxious, middle-aged New Jersey housewives named Lucille.
My idea of gambling is sitting at the beach:
Gambling that my friend James’s GoodReads.com recommendation Sacred Games
Gambling that sunblock 15 is enough to shield my poor Irish skin (umbrella helps too)--
Gambling that two mojitos won’t spoil my appetite for dinner (who cares either way)--
I’m no Kenny Rogers but I consider these feats to be highly daredevil in their own individual ways.
I’m too cheap to gamble also. That is what you said, isn’t it?
I did have one great experience in vegas for work once. I turned twenty dollars into 200 using the following insane ‘system’.
Pick a nickel machine that you would normally shy away from...not something that appeals to your favorite things. So, I went to the section of golf-themed slots. Insert one nickel to say hello to the machine. If it doesn’t win you anything, say goodbye with another nickel. If you win something, you may sit. Three losers in a row on that machine and you say goodbye with a nickel. If it ‘wants’ you to stay, it’ll give you something on the goodbye....in which case, you may sit.
Crazy? Yes. More interesting than mindlessly plugging money into the indian guy machine? Obviously.
I knew from the photo, before reading your gambling your skin sentence, that you know better than using SPF 15 at your age and complexion. (I didn’t know you identified as Irish, btw; learn something new every day… .)
I’m with you on the loss of cash thing. It’s crazy.
The Irish thing is a bit of a joke, although I’m 30% and like Guinness and about two songs by Clannad.
Gambling you won’t get a paper cut and subsequently contract a serious case of necrotizing dermatitis…
I wouldn’t gamble on anything less than 30 SPF. When I discoved they make 50, I realized that I could lose my shirt but still not burn.
“I do believe that our attitudes and perceptions create the world in which we live”
I don’t remember seeing “The Secret” on your goodreads list.