Republican candidate Jack Ryan is re-evaluating his bid for a U.S. Senate seat from Illinois amid allegations that he visited sex clubs with his then-wife, actress Jeri Ryan.
The four-year-old allegations were contained in court papers unsealed this week. In them, then Star Trek: Voyager star Jeri Ryan stated her ex-husband took her to sex clubs and asked her to engage in sexual activity in front of other patrons. The clubs were full of cages and people wearing leather and bizarre costumes.
“After such an ordeal, my career became a refuge for me,” Ryan explained. “It was such a relief to go to work and pull on a tight spandex outfit with cybernetic implants.”
For his part, Jack Ryan believes he had his wife’s best interests at heart. “Sure, I took her to places full of people who have sex. But look, I was trying to help her maintain a healthy balance. She was spending a lot of time speaking at Star Trek conventions, which are full of people who aren’t having sex.”
Mmmmmm....
Jeri Ryan
Resistance is Futile!
Please Assimilate me!
Please....?
I think the real problem here is the shameful outsourcing of kinky sex clubs: “Jeri Ryan said her then-husband took her on three ‘surprise trips’ in the spring of 1998 to New Orleans, New York and Paris, during which he took her to sex clubs.” Can’t we work together to build an America where we can have caged sex slaves in our home districts for our local constituencies? If we have to travel to weird places like NYC, NO, or, heaven forbid, Cheeseville to live out our fantasies of sexual omnipotence, well, the terrorists have already won.
That is, assuming they haven’t already already won.
I checked out those docs on the smoking gun. I have to say that it was a less interesting divorce than Kirstie Alley’s, in which we learned how many people she keeps on a year-round salary to keep empty houses dusted and ready for the occasional party.
It also pales in comparison to the masturbating and penis-pumping judge that is featured today. I’m sorry I said penis (twice now) on your site Greg.
Who is playing Jack Ryan here, Alec Baldwin or Harrison Ford?
Blast you, Tom!
/Patriot Games
ow. my sides.
i hope the ryans realize that every scumbag guy in america is now like, “woah ... strippers will make out with my girlfriend? SWEEEEEEET ...”
I’m from New Orleans and I’ve been to those clubs and you DO NOT want to make out with those women. They are U-G-L-Y and scary… I don’t know about the clubs in Paris, but… I’m just sayin’, you know?
you know, they’re not that much different in paris. they just sound more elegant somehow ...
Can someone please explain to me why surprising your spouse with trips to sex clubs and having sex in front of other people is grounds for divorce?
I thought Ben Affleck was Jack Ryan now? I’m all confused. Politics are scary.
I too checked out the documents on smokinggun.com, and I have to say, my absolute favorite part was when he told her, after she balked at the prospect of going to a sex club during their New York “romantic weekend,” that he didn’t like going to dinner, but they had already gone to dinner, so this was the least she could do.
Clearly, this is a man who understands that compromise is at the heart of all healthy relationships.
Greg?!?!?
Just checking.
Have finally linked my favorite blogs, you’re up!
What? What did I do?
Nothing, it’s just that I heard about Mary-Kate.
Wait, I’m responsible for her eating disorder?
I thought that you might be upset.
Now I see that I have stretched this joke out a little too far.
And yet, will I let it go? Only time will tell.
I have no sympathy for her. Any lingering degree of interest in the Twins was vaporized when Eugene Levy sang “Bad Boys” in the previews for their bomb move.
You’ll feel better after a Christopher Guest marathon.