You may have read that California experienced a 6.5 quake today. I was sitting in front of my computer, writing an article about my company for a trade publication, and the four-story office began to sway like a palm tree.
Many people wonder why someone might stay in California given our vulnerability to quakes. I thought I’d help address the issue.
1. We’re badasses. There is no more frontier to explore, so we prove our worth as men and women by staying in one place and surviving the tremors. It puts hair on our chest.
2. As a corollary to number one: other states are weenies. They have no natural disasters to worry about except a few limp wristed tornadoes and floods. Come talk to me when a live volcano errupts in the middle of your town square; otherwise, go shovel snow or chase cattle rustlers, whatever it is you do to occupy your time.
Even the states that used to be tough have fallen into disrepair. When I visited New York this summer I found NYC to be completely different from the hard-as-nails urban jungle I remembered from the early ‘90s. I was there for several days and only exchanged gunfire with the citizenry three times. It used to be Van Damme; now it’s Pixar.
3. California earthquake insurance ($10,000 annual premiums for $75 worth of coverage) prevent us from foolishly frittering our money away on things like food and entertainment.
4. If we’re lucky, the portion of the state that’s not us will break off into the sea. Which means? Instant beachfront property!
I think this lays the matter to rest.
What about hurricanes? Those can be some pretty badass storms. Ex. - Hurrican Andrew. Most costly natural disaster in U.S. history. Beat that.
Having enjoyed the Northridge quake and Hurricanes Fran and Floyd (note to self: move back to Massachusetts) I was very disappointed that I didn’t feel today’s temblor. My husband thought he was catching the flu for a minute, but realized it was just “seasickness.”
Glad to hear you’re okay. Do you really have earthquake insurance? I prefer to live on the edge [of poverty].
glad you’re all right. from the reports we got over here, most of california already did fall into the sea. (but then, they say that over here after every earthquake. pussies.)
Yeah, I resent the fact that you Californians seem to think your natural disasters are any tougher than our natural disasters in Louisiana… try staying through a hurricane when your city is located BELOW sea level. Put that in your pipe and smoke it you Californian wuss!
Umm, we have cows in Texas. And Texans too! That’s a natural disaster if I ever saw one.
I’d trade earthquakes for scraping frost off my windshield any day.
Whatever, dude. Try earthquakes (6.7) and live volcanoes (Mt. St. Helen’s).
i had to rake 30 bags of leaves this fall.
ok. i have nothing....
I grew up in California and always thought people in other states who said they would “never live there” were questionable. Hmm, let’s see, the very occassional quake that often does little harm, or blizzards, hurricanes, floods, and general shit for weather… of course now I live in Boston, so I should just shut up now.
It’s not the earthquakes here that scares me. It’s the damn bigfoot.
i updated! and you’re even mentioned!
hair on the chest? hmm. and here i thought nothing would change my mind about moving to CA, but dude, not looking foward to hairy nipples. ick.
Well...um...my natural disasters a better than your natural disasters. So, uh, ha!
1. Earthquakes Rule 2. I’ll trade the occasional earthquake for “real weather” anyday… I scoff at temperatures below 65 degrees in winter! 3. every where else sucks. CA Rules! Woo! Go CA!! 4. the Governator has our back, so we’re cool 5. no need to fear the chest hair - a little Botox, Slim Fast, silicone boobs, butt implants, chin reconstruction and a convertible can work wonders