Hooked.

I spent most of last week in Boulder, a trendy college town in Colorado, and got a chance to scratch off one of my life to-dos: try a hookah.

My life to-do list is still pretty long--I still haven’t gone on a safari, had a constellation named after me, or taught traffic school to a classroom full of Maggie Gyllenhaals--but hey, one down is one down.

It cost about $10 per flavor, and I think we chose something like strawberry and watermelon. Sure, those flavors sound pretty weak, but they don’t sell hashish over the counter yet.  And I like them anyway because they taste good and make you forget that you’re turning your lungs into a toxic waste dump.

There are other good aspects of a hookah:

  • The smoke is white and curly, and if you exhale through your nose you can pretend that you’re growing tusks.
  • It gives you an excuse to say the word “hookah” repeatedly, which is an excellent word.
  • One gets tired of always seeing alcohol and coffee on the table; it’s new experience to see a gigantic hookah or two.
  • You can talk in a throaty voice and give instructions to Alice:

    “One side of the mushroom makes you grow larger; the other one makes you grow shorter.” Jesus, no wonder I never liked mushrooms.

    The other thing I learned--or re-learned, to be more accurate--is that I’m too old to hang out in college towns, hookah bars being the exception to the rule.  This is what you tend to realize when you look around and wonder how all these kids got past the guy checking IDs, and realize that they are, in fact, probably 21.  At least, in dog years.

    Posted by Greg at 10:56 AM. Filed under:

    (9) Comments • Permalink

    Next entry: Dumble adoration. Previous entry: Rite of manhood.

    Wow!!  That photo is pretty cool.

    So what exactly was the substance you guys were smoking?  Is that a naive question?

    Posted by teahouseblossom  on  10/21  at  07:21 PM

    It’s just a flavored tobacco, very mild.

    Posted by Greg  on  10/21  at  07:24 PM

    *says ‘hookah’ aloud.

    *chuckles immaturely.

    Posted by bohémienne  on  10/21  at  07:48 PM

    I had the same ? as teahouseblossom....very cool experience!!!!

    Posted by FENICLE  on  10/21  at  09:01 PM

    hm, never tried it. it is an excellent word.

    Posted by DirtyDanSin  on  10/21  at  10:29 PM

    I’m very jealous.

    Posted by Kristine  on  10/22  at  04:01 PM

    when i came back from istanbul back in 94, my prized possession was (and still is) my nargila.

    i put in my wife’s luggage, naturally.

    hey, she never saw Midnight Express!

    Posted by brandon  on  10/22  at  08:13 PM

    Those are all the rage in Turkey (duh), and though I am very much a non-smoker, I found the apple tobacco absolutely delectable. I did not bring one back, though, because I still couldn’t cross the line to actually smoking in my house, even if it would make my house smell like Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

    Posted by EV  on  11/03  at  12:55 PM

    Glad you tried and loved the hookah! My friends and I got into a hookah craze a couple of years ago, and its fun smile I was just looking at mine the other day on my shelf and thinking I needed to dust it off...My favorite flavor is double apple, though the man at the hookah store told me that it “makes you horny”...so beware. haha

    Posted by mindy  on  11/05  at  08:46 PM

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