Ho ho hoes.

I’ve received some nice gifts from my colleagues this holiday season, but my favorite was a Bratz doll from two 20something girls in the office:

Their note--"Merry Christmas, Office Pimp!!!  Love, the Hoes"--is in reference to the fact that one of the girls, who is new to the company, apparently saw me talking to women and only women.  The fact is, I talk to many genders.  Well, at least two of them. But she told her boss, who is a good friend of mine, that she considered me to be the Office Pimp.  When I heard this, I sent her an email regarding some other subject and replaced my job title with “Office Pimp” in my email signature.  And so a nickname was born.

She and an ally of hers subsequently joined forces to bequeath me with Yasmin, a highly fashionable Bratz doll.  I wrote a carefully considered thank-you note to the both of them:

“Thanks for helping me find my new best friend.  We had a great time over the weekend putting glitter on ourselves and shopping.  And it’s great having someone else just like myself who understands the need for ‘High-Fashion STYLE!’ As office pimp, of course, she is available for general use.  Please contact me for rates (special seasonal discounts now in effect).”

Now that all the banter has died down, though, I’m wondering if this is really all just a joke. After all, the economy isn’t doing so well and we all need to be considering ancillary revenue streams.  10% of the gross doesn’t seem like such a bad deal to me--and besides, I think I’d really rock a leopard skin hat.

First of all, they are not girls, they are women. And second of all, if you are suggesting what I think you are suggesting, you must know some guys with really small . . . . . achievements.

Posted by  on  12/22  at  10:16 PM

Yasmin is the stylish-est Bratz.  So I’ve heard.  You may have a great opportunity here.

Posted by teahouseblossom  on  12/23  at  07:19 AM

For research over the holidays, I recommend the 1988 film “I’m gonna git you sucka,” a searing examination of the finer side of leopard hats (with requisite peacock feathers) and some extraordinarily memorable platform boots.  I’m sure you can Netflix it.

Posted by  on  12/23  at  09:20 AM

Mattel has shut down the Bratz dolls so Yasmin could be worth some money in the future...as long as she’s kept in pristine, um, unused condition.

Posted by  on  12/23  at  10:32 AM

Good to hear from you, Gregaplenty, it’s been a while! Have a nice holiday. I’m glad your pimp status is getting the recognition it deserves. -j

Posted by  on  12/23  at  11:32 AM

Maybe it’s best for The Office Pimp and the Bratz dolls to stay in the closet at least until the economy turns around.

Posted by Beth  on  12/24  at  02:38 AM