Of course I’m staring at you. You’re at the gym and you’re wearing a Superman shirt. Lots of people are staring at you. And the same question is on all of our minds: how much can you really lift? We wouldn’t necessarily ask that of everyone in here, but hey, you’re the last son of Krypton, right? You’re decked out in the big red “S.” That’s like coming into a bar and announcing that you just quit A.A. People are going to want to see you down a couple kegs. Fact is, you’re proving to be quite a disappointment; you’re not benching all that much. What’s the matter, Kal-El? I mean, I know that the lighting in here is a little weird, but it’s not like you’re under the rays of a red sun or anything.
I really hate the fact that Heroes introduced new characters that speak in their native languages. TV is usually I have something going in the background; I don’t just sit there and stare at it for an hour. But you can’t let it play in back of you if you have to read subtitles. It was bad enough last season with Hiro and his friend, and now they’ve introduced two Spanish-speaking characters. So I have to turn my head around and actually look at the screen, and it’s annoying because the show has crummy dialogue so it’s not like they’re saying anything all that important:
“I speak spanish, my sister.”
“As do I, my brother.”
“I’m glad to know that, and that you will continue to speak spanish for the forseeable future, my sister.”
“Yes, my brother. Now, let us run across this field as we are being chased.”
“And afterwards we can continue to speak spanish some more?”
“Most certainly, my brother.”
Life, like this post, often comes in threes: if someone waves at you and you lift your hand to wave back, only to realize that the person was actually waving at someone behind you, then you must recognize that this will happen again two more times in the very near future. And at no point along this continuum will you be able to convince yourself or anyone around you that you were actually stretching/about to fix your hair/waving to someone behind the person whom you thought was waving at you/practicing kung-fu.
Posted by Greg at 06:06 AM.
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re: Heroes: Preach it! I “watch” a lot of TV, by which I mean I have the TV on and am working on something a lot of the time, occasionally looking up to see if there is some actual action happening. If I want subtitles, I’ll watch an obscure European movie. Other than Hiro. Love Hiro.
You’re so wrong. When I do that accidental waving thing, I am absolutely certain that people believe I’m really just scratching my forehead. I’m sure of it.
Actually, I love subtitles because a) that’s how I learned that sacana! is Portuguese for rat bastard and b) I wish all TV had subtitles because I hear better when I read. And Hiro is my true love, you know, if you don’t look to closely at the fact that he’s not a real person.
That superman shirt thing is just a cry for help. It’s like actually chosing the clothes your mother would otherwise have made you wear to school. Today at the gym a scrawny guy was straining at low weights and flailing on a slow stairclimber in a USMC Officer’s Training Academy shirt. I was dishonored, despite my poorly-stifled giggles. This is why I like to work out in my Booberry-Chocula-Frankenberry shirt - it lowers expectations. “That dude who lives on seasonal sugared cereal - he’s stronger than I’d have expected someone on a refined-glucose diet. What’s he know that I don’t?” But don’t try doing squats in your Fiber 1 shirt. People will be uncomfortable, and not just you.
Dan, that was almost as funny as Greg’s original Superman post. Which was pretty damn good.
LOL, your spanish dialogue was hilarious!
I never wave at people. I just smile and flutter my eyelashes meaningfully. That way, if they weren’t waving at me, I can pretend I was flirting with someone standing behind them. Quid pro quo!